I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I have decided. Life really isn't worth living is it? I mean, we all live, and for what purpose? Just to die? Seems kind of ironic isn't it? In death you feel no pain, no joy, no sorrow, no exuberance Etc. So really isn't what so many people yearn for what they really need? I have caused little joy to those around me, and that I do cause is almost instantly shuttered out by me doing something wrong. People tell me she isn't as bad as I make her out to be, but the problem with people is that they didn't have to deal with the bullshit (Pardon my language) that she put me through. So its hard for them to really say that I am wrong, when they don't even know the half of it. And then there is him. He is always making Her feel badly, but she still longs for him.Problem is, He isn't here anymore, He changed into something else. He isn't what She fell in love with, and she doesn't see that. So in trying to make Her feel better, I told Him to stay away, but got bitched at Etc etc. This drama is driving me insane! I put my sanity on the line to deal with other peoples problems, and what do I get for it? Nothing. I get yelled at, smacked, hit, etc. They won't leave me alone. Have you ever wanted to die so badly, you felt your body was shutting down little by little, your arms get light, so it becomes harter to type, your words are slurred and your throat collapsed, so no one can hear you silently scream. I want to die, and she wants me to vanish. Don't think i forgot you said that. By the time many of you read this, I will have gotten over all of it, bottled everything up once more, so no one can ever see the silent tears. Silent I shall be, and forever shall I remain.