• Both the iOS/ Apple iPhone/ iPad and the Android/Google versions of the sites mobile app are now available for download from the resources page. The app is free for all members. This app will allow you to get notifications on your mobile device whenever a thread or forum you watch has a new post, when your thread or posts get replies, when you recieve a private message, etc. The links to download the app are in the resources area - https://www.suicideforum.com/community/resources/categories/example-category.1/
  • Please read the sticky notice in Forum News and Updates section regarding user etiquette during the next few weeks

Permanent solution to a temporary problem?

Status
Not open for further replies.
I

i_am_not_here

#1
How long does something have to go on for before it stops being "temporary"? The very word conjours up thoughts of the problem(s) being "fleeting" and "momentary". What if it isn't? What if the problem(s) has/have been going on for many, many years? Would you still consider it "temporary", even though it blatently isn't?
 

Luliby

Staff Alumni
#2
HI!

I like your signature btw, "Hope is merely disappointment deferred. --W. Burton Baldry"

That pretty much sums it up doesn't it? I wish I knew more about your specific problem that hasn't gone away and that you believe will never go away. There are a few constants in this universe I am sure of: and one of them is CHANGE.

Chances are if you continue to do the same things you will continue to get the same results. If your not getting the results you want you need to change what your doing. CHANGE is not always comfortable or even desireable. But rarely is it never possible.

How does that serenity prayer go again? oh yeah, "God grant us the serenity (peace) to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and wisdom to know the difference." Even accepting the things we cannot change is a change from our previous perspective. And that can be a powerful change indeed.

Depression is a torment. Inability to concentrate, insomnia, loss of appetite, inability to experience pleasure from normally pleasurable life events, feelings of extreme sadness, guilt, helplessness and hopelessness, and thoughts of death. That is torment. And the longer you struggle under it the heavier it seems to feel. You begin to wonder if it will ever pass. There is a fear that it will not CHANGE. Myabe you question, like I have, if depression isn't one of those things we need to make peace with and accept.

That is why I like your signature. I have hated, loathed and wanted to kill hope because it is the proverbial carrot that life dangles before us, always out of reach, and always we need it and strive for it. Like nature is toying with us for it's own amusement. Ever feel like that?

Take comfort in this:
94% recover from depression by making a few of the following changes:

Good relationships: studies show that relationships with partners, carers, teachers, co-workers and a supportive social network results in physical and emotional healing, happiness and life satisfaction, and prevents isolation and loneliness, major factors in depressive illness.
Understanding the real causes of depression so that people don't feel inadequate. This depression is not your fault and it's not a weakness on your part. It is a chemical imbalance in your brain often triggered by prolong grief, trauma or suffering.
A safe, supportive and non-judgemental group environment. (Like this forum!) :) there are also church groups, community groups, etc. Reach out for a support group.
Identifying emotional, cognitive, and relationship patterns and learning new ways to change these, including many CBT techniques. This is usually the therapy people receive from a therapist. It focuses on relaxation traiing, behavioral rehearsal, problem solving, and exercise.
A good relationship with a therapist or physician. Also, a partner or friend.
Moderate and even gentle exercise such as a brief walk.
Meditation, prayer and relaxation exercises such as yoga or our own Meditations in Movement.
Spending time in nature and with pets. Even a potted plant or view from your office will help
Receiving support for a substantial amount of time: Experiencing an ongoing environment that is free from trauma and very supportive so that the body and the brain can heal and develop.

You may still hit a rough patch from time to time. Don't lose heart or feel overwhelmed and anxious because you can't just snap out of it. This is an illness and you have limited control. I can't take credit for this list. I found it on a web site but it's useful and immediate. Do just ONE SMALL THING and it will help to lift your spirits. Make some of them a habit and your well on your way to recovery.

1). Remind yourself of One thing: you are not your depression. This state of pain or panic is not an integral part of you, and it is not your fault. And it will go away.

2). Tell ONE friend how you're feeling. You may feel awkward at first, but this is exactly what good friends are for. And what this forum is for!

3). Figure out ONE thing that someone has done that might have triggered your current feelings, and let them know not to do it again.

4). Tell someone ONE thing they could do to meet a need of yours, whether it's inviting you out to the movies or pouring you a cup of tea or coffee.

5). Take ONE walk today, optimally in a park or natural setting, and notice anything that strikes you as colorful, pleasing to your senses or beautiful.

6.) Take ONE minute to talk to your Higher Power, God, guardian angel or Universal Spirit--however you think of this kindly presence, even if you don't really believe in it. Offer this presence your gratitude, plea for help or even your anger-don't hold back any emotion at all.
 
I

i_am_not_here

#3
Luliby said:
Take comfort in this:94% recover from depression by making a few of the following changes:
Good relationships:
studies show that relationships with partners, carers, teachers, co-workers and a supportive social network results in physical and emotional healing, happiness and life satisfaction, and prevents isolation and loneliness, major factors in depressive illness.
That would be nice.

Luliby said:
Understanding the real causes of depression so that people don't feel inadequate. This depression is not your fault and it's not a weakness on your part. It is a chemical imbalance in your brain often triggered by prolonged grief, trauma or suffering.
So far I have had what actually amounts to a pretty 'normal' life. There is nothing special about me; I have had no major events in my life (abuse, for example) that could explain my depression. So, basically it comes down to not being able to cope with what is "normal" for most people. I'm sorry, but that does make me weak.

Luliby said:
Identifying emotional, cognitive, and relationship patterns and learning new ways to change these, including many CBT techniques. This is usually the therapy people receive from a therapist. It focuses on relaxation traiing, behavioral rehearsal, problem solving, and exercise.
I have never really liked this idea of "CBT". Making a statement and then identifying "how that statement could be false". It just doesn't sit well with me. "The ball is red"... "No, it isn't"... "YES IT FUCKING IS!"

Luliby said:
A good relationship with a therapist or physician. Also, a partner or friend.
I have no-one.

Luliby said:
Moderate and even gentle exercise such as a brief walk.
I am involved in a watersport. I don't particularly enjoy it and the exercise doesn't "lift my mood".

Luliby said:
Receiving support for a substantial amount of time: Experiencing an ongoing environment that is free from trauma and very supportive so that the body and the brain can heal and develop.
As I said, my life is (for all intents and purposes) "normal". No traumas to speak of, and yet I still don't "heal".

Luliby said:
Do just ONE SMALL THING and it will help to lift your spirits. Make some of them a habit and your well on your way to recovery.
What? What should I do?

Luliby said:
1). Remind yourself of One thing: you are not your depression. This state of pain or panic is not an integral part of you, and it is not your fault. And it will go away.
Will it? When? I've waited far too fucking long. How long should one be expected to endure this shit before it goes away, eh?

Luliby said:
2). Tell ONE friend how you're feeling. You may feel awkward at first, but this is exactly what good friends are for. And what this forum is for!
All the people I have spoken to have effectively "dumped" me. I have no friends left now.

Luliby said:
3). Figure out ONE thing that someone has done that might have triggered your current feelings, and let them know not to do it again.
That's gonna be a tough one. The person that has triggered it all is ME. My problem is a complete and overwhelming self-loathing. And not just of one small part of me - I abhor the whole package.

Luliby said:
5). Take ONE walk today, optimally in a park or natural setting, and notice anything that strikes you as colorful, pleasing to your senses or beautiful.
Again, that's a hard one. Not because I can't find a "park or natural setting" - I live in a very rural area. I just don't actually find any of it "pleasing to my senses or beautiful".

Luliby said:
6.) Take ONE minute to talk to your Higher Power, God, guardian angel or Universal Spirit--however you think of this kindly presence, even if you don't really believe in it. Offer this presence your gratitude, plea for help or even your anger-don't hold back any emotion at all.
I am a devout Athiest.
 
I

i_am_not_here

#6
You and me both. I'm also not a fan of:
"Death is not a solution... it is an end before a solution can be found."
That really grates too.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$475.00
Goal
$255.00
Top