Persistence in the Face of Difficulties

Discussion in 'Positive Feelings and Motivational Messages' started by RonPrice, Dec 11, 2010.

  1. RonPrice

    RonPrice Member

    I post the following as a motivator to help others have, as I say in my title, Persistence in the Face of Difficulties.-Ron
    The affects of bipolar disorder(BPD) on my two marriages were many: too high a libido and in my case too extensive a demand for sex; a tendency to anger and additional strains and stresses. How much of this was due to my BPD is difficult to quantify. The affect on my employment was, again: anger, the temptations of the opposite sex and the desire for greater stimulation/satisfaction in my working life in general as well as a greater drive to succeed, to achieve. Motivation is a complex phenomenon and the relationship between work and its demands, BPD and my several manifestations of this disorder during the period from my birth to the age of 18.

    Many of the situations in my life, looking back, were humorous and the contexts absurd. And there was much else but, as I indicate, I hesitate to go into more detail. My aim here is to make a short(not short enough I hear some readers say!) clinical statement, to put some basic facts on paper, to outline some impressions, to make some analysis and draw some tentative conclusions. Perhaps later, in a further essay or posting at this site--for the internet is the place my writing on BPD as a non-professional gets the most exposure--I will go into the kind of detail some readers have already requested. And so--I want to make this statement as short as possible, but as detailed as I can, to give a longitudinal perspective. At 70,000 words(only a little here) this account has become far from short, but it serves my purposes even if it is onerous for some readers to digest. I find, after several years of internet posting, that readers who find my account too long simply don’t read it. There is plenty of material on the World Wide Web for sufferers of BPD who require short posts, simple advice sketches and quick back-and-forth chat settings.

    Different BP Profiles and Typicalities:

    There are a variety of BPD profiles, what you could call different behavioural typicalities from person to person of those diagnosed as having BPD. It is bipolar because both ends of the spectrum, the moods, were and still are experienced over the period 1943 to 2010, 67 years. Thanks to lithium, fluvoxamine and, now, sodium valproate and venlafaxine(effexor), most of the extremes are now being treated. Beginning (i) at the age of 19 in 1963, then (ii) at the age of 34 in 1978, (iii) again at the age of 57 in 2001 and, finally--at least I hope this was the final major shift—(iv) over the 40 month period 4/2007 to 8/2010 in these early years of late adulthood, that twenty year period in the human lifespan from 60 to 80, different medication regimes have resulted in an experiencing of life in very different ways. They brought me back to a centre, a normality, but I was somehow, somewhat mysteriously, inexplicably in some ways, never the same again. By 2010 I had developed a marked asocial tendency which I refer to elsewhere in this document. Different medications and different people in certain ways, ways that this statement refers to briefly. This of course is true of all of us, each in our own ways, with our own stories of change, of crisis and our own expressions of an often difficult to define normality and abnormality.

    The diagnosis that has been made in my case is a diagnosis that is standardized according The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders(DSMMD), 4th edition. There is a five axis system of diagnosis that is used in that manual and I refer readers to that manual and that five axis system for a more comprehensive view of just what I have left out of this statement. In my case: axis 1 is for clinical disorders in my case a mood disorder; axis 3 is for general medical concerns that relate to my BPD, axis-4 is for psycho-social and environmental problems that relate to my BPD and axis-5 is an overall caregiver’s assessment of my functioning on a scale 1 to 100.

    It took ten years, from 1980 to 1990 as I say above, for me to fully accept the lithium treatment. From time to time in the 1980s I tried to live without the lithium, to go it alone, to go off it on a cold turkey, as they say colloquially. Such, in as brief a way as possible, is the summary of my experience over the years and, in the main, up to 1991. I have written more extensively of these years, and especially the issue of acceptance of one’s BPD and compliance with medication in my autobiography which is readily available on the internet for anyone who is interested.

    Individuals with BPD have several characteristics that make them more vulnerable to substance abuse, addiction and compulsive behaviours. There is, therefore, a higher prevalence of people with BPD who have: (a) addictions, (b) OCD and (c) a higher vulnerability to substance abuse. As I have emphasized in this account, the experience of individuals with BPD, while having symptoms in common, is also highly diverse in its characterization. Over more than half a century now I have experienced, at various times: agitation and anxiety, aggressiveness and anger, belligerence and battle-fatigue, confusion and compulsiveness, impulsiveness and insomnia, irritability and irregularity, morbid thought patterns and maliciousness, suicidal ideation and panic, paranoia and persecutory delusions, pressured speech and racing thoughts, restlessness and rage—not all at once, it must be emphasized, but at various times and, as I say, over many decades. One could find all of these behaviours in people without BPD but, for the most part, not in the same person.
    -------------MORE EXPERIENCE TO POST IF DESIRED-------
  2. Winslow

    Winslow Antiquitie's Friend SF Supporter

    My hat's off to you for your persistence. I notice you mention your religion of choice as being Bahai. In that case, you will most likely enjoy the thread I introduced,Combining Different Religions. My understanding is that is what your Bahai strives to do.