Personal Question

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Embarassed2, May 17, 2009.

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  1. Embarassed2

    Embarassed2 Guest

    I am really embarassed to ask this but I kind of need to know.

    If you take it up the bum are you still considered a virgin?? :(
     
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    Does it matter? If you want to engage in this act, why are you so concerned with keeping your virginity?
     
  3. greyroses

    greyroses Well-Known Member

    Mmmmmm...well then gay males would be virgins their whole life, yeah?
     
  4. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Welcome to SF. I have to agree with the 2nd post by Iloveyou. Unless this if for religious reasons, does it really matter whether you consider to have lost your virginity?
     
  5. Abi_21

    Abi_21 Well-Known Member

    personaly i think yes you still are a virgin isnt it vaginal pentration when you loose your virginity? if you want to do that to save your virginity that is your choice but i think you still are a virgin until you have vaginal pernatration with a penis
     
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I think yes,you would be :unsure:
     
  7. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    in regards to women, it doesnt brake your hymen so you are medically still a virgin. though it is up to if you are morally still one.
     
  8. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

  9. Embarassed2

    Embarassed2 Guest

    I didn't really want to go into details because I'm so ashamed and embarassed about the everything. But here goes.

    I have been with my bf for almost 5 months and he's been kind of putting pressure on me to have sex. I'm 16 and a virgin for the most part I guess. Anywayz he kept pressuring me and I told him no and that if he loved me he wouldn't make me do it until I was ready. The next day he started asking about putting it up my bum. I told him no at first because I thought it was gross. He kept pressuring me so I finally gave in and told him he could do it. I didn't really want to but I thought he'd leave me if I didn't. I have never had sex the normal way so I guess my parts are still in place.

    My other question is by letting him do that to me did i do damage to my backside? I'm really worried about that as well.

    Sorry this is really private but I didn't know where else to ask it.
     
  10. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    No you won't do damage to yourself. Just use some lube. It can be very pleasuring for the guy and girl.
    But you should ask this guy why it is such a big deal, and don't do anything you're feeling pressured into doing. If he leaves because of something like that, was he worth hanging on to?
     
  11. BriGuy

    BriGuy Antiquities Friend

    As far as the initial question, you would be a 'vaginal virgin', but technically if you anal sex, I believe you HAVE had intercourse, and once you've had sexual intercourse, you are no longer a true virgin.

    And yes, as someone pointed out, as a gay man, I would be a virgin all my life if anal sex didn't count... and I am definitely not a virgin.

    HOWEVER... the most important point of all of this is DO NOT let him pressure you into ANYTHING you don't want to do! If you aren't ready, and he can't or won't wait until you are, he ISN'T WORTH IT! You should not be forced into anything you don't want to do!! If you aren't ready, you should WAIT!
     
  12. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    What an odd way of avoiding the problem...

    Anyway I would say no you are not a virgin anymore.

    Though you shouldn't have given in to him so easily.

    Being 16 myself I would say that if he was pressuring you to have sex that much it is likely all he was after.
     
  13. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    To your original question... depends on what you as an individual consider a virgin. My opinion you had sexual intercourse(regardless if it was vaginal, anal or oral) and that would make you no longer a virgin.

    Regarding the boyfriend.... dump him now. He has control issues that will only get worse and more demanding the longer you are together. If he can pressure you into having sex when you dont want to, and in a way you yourself found "gross" what other things will he be able t to pressure you into? Not worth it for you in the long run hun.
     
  14. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    You could've said to him we can do other things but not anything penetrative. Because in my eyes, once it's penetrative (vagina or anal) it's still sex and you aren't a virgin anymore. I don't believe a broken hymen makes someone a virgin - you can break your hymen riding a bicycle!

    If you do end up staying with this guy, try oral or hand jobs etc. But mostly I agree with everybody else. If he is pressuring you, eventually he'll break up with you when he doesn't get what he wants.
    He sounds like an idiot and if he can't respect your wishes there is no reason why you should be made to budge/back down if you don't feel ready to.

    So either dump him before he makes you do something you are going to regret or say to him 'this is how it's gonna be, I am not ready for all of this and you need to respect that. If you don't like it - you know where the door is'.

    It'll hurt at first, but you will be better for it in the long run. Because him treating you badly or sleeping with you and then dumping you, will hurt even more.
     
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