Why would we want to understand anything about personality? Well we view and interact with the world through our personalities. By understanding our personalities and the personalities of others, we're less likely to meet disappointment and it's more likely that our plans will come to fruition. It's useful to know what our traits are because it helps us figure out how to orient our lives.
By far the greatest range of diversity among people is with regards to personality, and within psychology, there's this idea of the necessity for personality differences. We wouldn't have the entire range of human personality that we do unless there were specific instances, and perhaps sometimes not so specific, where a particular personality trait, or set of personality traits, were exactly the solution to the problem emerging at the time.
Contemporary personality psychologists believe that there are five basic dimensions of personality, often referred to as the "Big 5" personality traits and referred to by the acronym OCEAN: Openness, Conscientiousness, Extroversion, Agreeableness, Neuroticism.
in particular, I'd like to address the trait the agreeableness.
From The Agreeableness Dimension of Personality:
"Agreeableness describes a person’s tendency to put others’ needs ahead of their own, and to cooperate rather than compete with others.
What Does High Agreeableness Look Like?
People who are high in Agreeableness experience a great deal of empathy and tend to get pleasure out of serving and taking care of others. They are usually trusting and forgiving.
Agreeable people tend to do well in social and professional settings because of their helpful nature, interest in cooperation, and ability to de-escalate conflict. They typically form friendships easily because they are willing to give others the benefit of the doubt and slow to form judgments. Careers involving relationship building, caring for those in need, and counseling tend to attract highly Agreeable people.
Agreeable people tend to be emotionally perceptive, empathetic, and altruistic. They are naturally helpful, and because they feel the needs and pain of others deeply, they are compelled to act. Though their intentions are good, this tendency can at times manifest in the form of dependence or an inability to say no.
Highly Agreeable people may struggle to assert their own needs and preferences. While people who score high for Agreeableness are often well liked by coworkers, Agreeableness is negatively correlated with income and professional status. Highly Agreeable people may focus more on helping others, and neglect to chart their own course.
Agreeableness is obviously advantageous for attaining and maintaining popularity. Agreeable people are better liked than disagreeable people. On the other hand, agreeableness is not useful in situations that require tough or absolute objective decisions. Disagreeable people can make excellent scientists, critics, or soldiers.
What Does Low Agreeableness Look Like?
People who are low in Agreeableness tend to experience less empathy and put their own concerns ahead of others. Low scorers are often described as hostile, competitive, and antagonistic. They tend to have more conflictual relationships and often fall out with people.
People who are low in Agreeableness are less likely to get along with others, trust others, or be sympathetic to the needs of those around them. They tend to be less moved by their emotions or perceptive to the needs of others, though they may still feel an instinct to care for close loved ones.
Those who are low in Agreeableness are often suspicious of other people and their motives. Their skepticism about human nature means others rarely get the best of them. However, they may struggle in situations where teamwork is essential, as they expect others will be as self-interested as they are.
In the workplace, people who are low in Agreeableness often excel because of their single-minded ambition. They are often drawn to careers involving power such as law, politics, armed forces, security, and law enforcement. Tasks involving collaboration can be frustrating to them, as they naturally strive to get ahead rather than cooperate.
People who are low in Agreeableness aren’t afraid to hold an unpopular view. They tend to be unmoved by other people’s perceptions and thus have the freedom to act in accordance with their own convictions."
Where things can get complicated is for someone who is both high in agreeableness and conscientiousness.
Very often, large corporations run on the unheralded labour of people who are both high in agreeableness and high conscientiousness, and they're disproportionately women. In large institutions and companies, if you want to hire someone to exploit productively, you hire middle aged women who are hyper conscientious and also agreeable. Because they'll do everything, they won't take credit for it and they'll never complain. That may seem callous but it happens all the time. So for anyone who is very agreeable, it's important not to not line up to be exploited. People are wired to be exploited by infants; it ensures their survival. But that doesn't work so well in the professional world. People high in agreeableness often find it very difficult to negotiate on their behalf. Agreeable people do not like conflict. They'll suffer anything but conflict. However, this an essential skill agreeable people need to become adept at so as not to be completely trodden on. There simply are things that just need to be brought up and spoken up for because they are not going away. The challenge here also is that agreeable people are so accustomed to living for other people, they often don't even know what they themselves want. You ask a disagreeable person what they want, they'll tell you straight away and tell you how they're going to get it too.
For people who are high in agreeableness, getting comfortable with being assertive is an important so as not to be exploited:
1. Make the decision to positively assert yourself. Commit to being assertive rather than passive or aggressive.
2. Aim for open and honest communication. It's important to respect other people when sharing your feelings, wants, needs, beliefs or opinions but equally, it's important that you are heard along these lines too.
3. Listen actively. Understand the other person’s point of view and don’t interrupt when they are explaining it to you. This demonstrates that you are reasonable & in control of your emotions.
4. Agree to disagree. Remember that having a different point of view doesn’t mean you are right and the other person is wrong.
5. Avoid guilt trips. Be honest and tell others how you feel or what you want without making accusations or making them feel guilty.
6. Stay calm. Breathe normally, look the person in the eye, keep your face relaxed and speak in a normal voice.
7. Take a problem-solving approach to conflict. Try to see the other person as your friend not your enemy.
8. Practice assertiveness. Talk in an assertive way in front of a mirror or with a friend. Pay attention to your body language as well as to the words you say.
9. Use ‘I’. Stick with statements that include ‘I’ in them such as ‘I think’ or ‘I feel’. Don’t use aggressive language such as ‘you always’ or ‘you never’.
10. Be patient. Again, being assertive is a skill that needs practice. Remember that you will sometimes do better at it than at other times, but you can always learn from your mistakes.
is this something anyone here can relate to or currently struggles with?
By far the greatest range of diversity among people is with regards to personality, and within psychology, there's this idea of the necessity for personality differences. We wouldn't have the entire range of human personality that we do unless there were specific instances, and perhaps sometimes not so specific, where a particular personality trait, or set of personality traits, were exactly the solution to the problem emerging at the time.
Contemporary personality psychologists believe that there are five basic dimensions of personality, often referred to as the "Big 5" personality traits and referred to by the acronym OCEAN: Openness, Conscientiousness, Extroversion, Agreeableness, Neuroticism.
in particular, I'd like to address the trait the agreeableness.
From The Agreeableness Dimension of Personality:
"Agreeableness describes a person’s tendency to put others’ needs ahead of their own, and to cooperate rather than compete with others.
What Does High Agreeableness Look Like?
People who are high in Agreeableness experience a great deal of empathy and tend to get pleasure out of serving and taking care of others. They are usually trusting and forgiving.
Agreeable people tend to do well in social and professional settings because of their helpful nature, interest in cooperation, and ability to de-escalate conflict. They typically form friendships easily because they are willing to give others the benefit of the doubt and slow to form judgments. Careers involving relationship building, caring for those in need, and counseling tend to attract highly Agreeable people.
Agreeable people tend to be emotionally perceptive, empathetic, and altruistic. They are naturally helpful, and because they feel the needs and pain of others deeply, they are compelled to act. Though their intentions are good, this tendency can at times manifest in the form of dependence or an inability to say no.
Highly Agreeable people may struggle to assert their own needs and preferences. While people who score high for Agreeableness are often well liked by coworkers, Agreeableness is negatively correlated with income and professional status. Highly Agreeable people may focus more on helping others, and neglect to chart their own course.
Agreeableness is obviously advantageous for attaining and maintaining popularity. Agreeable people are better liked than disagreeable people. On the other hand, agreeableness is not useful in situations that require tough or absolute objective decisions. Disagreeable people can make excellent scientists, critics, or soldiers.
What Does Low Agreeableness Look Like?
People who are low in Agreeableness tend to experience less empathy and put their own concerns ahead of others. Low scorers are often described as hostile, competitive, and antagonistic. They tend to have more conflictual relationships and often fall out with people.
People who are low in Agreeableness are less likely to get along with others, trust others, or be sympathetic to the needs of those around them. They tend to be less moved by their emotions or perceptive to the needs of others, though they may still feel an instinct to care for close loved ones.
Those who are low in Agreeableness are often suspicious of other people and their motives. Their skepticism about human nature means others rarely get the best of them. However, they may struggle in situations where teamwork is essential, as they expect others will be as self-interested as they are.
In the workplace, people who are low in Agreeableness often excel because of their single-minded ambition. They are often drawn to careers involving power such as law, politics, armed forces, security, and law enforcement. Tasks involving collaboration can be frustrating to them, as they naturally strive to get ahead rather than cooperate.
People who are low in Agreeableness aren’t afraid to hold an unpopular view. They tend to be unmoved by other people’s perceptions and thus have the freedom to act in accordance with their own convictions."
Where things can get complicated is for someone who is both high in agreeableness and conscientiousness.
Very often, large corporations run on the unheralded labour of people who are both high in agreeableness and high conscientiousness, and they're disproportionately women. In large institutions and companies, if you want to hire someone to exploit productively, you hire middle aged women who are hyper conscientious and also agreeable. Because they'll do everything, they won't take credit for it and they'll never complain. That may seem callous but it happens all the time. So for anyone who is very agreeable, it's important not to not line up to be exploited. People are wired to be exploited by infants; it ensures their survival. But that doesn't work so well in the professional world. People high in agreeableness often find it very difficult to negotiate on their behalf. Agreeable people do not like conflict. They'll suffer anything but conflict. However, this an essential skill agreeable people need to become adept at so as not to be completely trodden on. There simply are things that just need to be brought up and spoken up for because they are not going away. The challenge here also is that agreeable people are so accustomed to living for other people, they often don't even know what they themselves want. You ask a disagreeable person what they want, they'll tell you straight away and tell you how they're going to get it too.
For people who are high in agreeableness, getting comfortable with being assertive is an important so as not to be exploited:
1. Make the decision to positively assert yourself. Commit to being assertive rather than passive or aggressive.
2. Aim for open and honest communication. It's important to respect other people when sharing your feelings, wants, needs, beliefs or opinions but equally, it's important that you are heard along these lines too.
3. Listen actively. Understand the other person’s point of view and don’t interrupt when they are explaining it to you. This demonstrates that you are reasonable & in control of your emotions.
4. Agree to disagree. Remember that having a different point of view doesn’t mean you are right and the other person is wrong.
5. Avoid guilt trips. Be honest and tell others how you feel or what you want without making accusations or making them feel guilty.
6. Stay calm. Breathe normally, look the person in the eye, keep your face relaxed and speak in a normal voice.
7. Take a problem-solving approach to conflict. Try to see the other person as your friend not your enemy.
8. Practice assertiveness. Talk in an assertive way in front of a mirror or with a friend. Pay attention to your body language as well as to the words you say.
9. Use ‘I’. Stick with statements that include ‘I’ in them such as ‘I think’ or ‘I feel’. Don’t use aggressive language such as ‘you always’ or ‘you never’.
10. Be patient. Again, being assertive is a skill that needs practice. Remember that you will sometimes do better at it than at other times, but you can always learn from your mistakes.
is this something anyone here can relate to or currently struggles with?
I'd love to hear your opinion! 
