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Personalized Safety Plan

D

dancerfr8

#1
Your safety is the most important thing. Listed below are tips to help keep you safe. It is important to get help with your safety plan.
If you are in an abusive relationship, think about...

1. Having important phone numbers nearby for you and your children. Numbers to have are the police, hotlines, friends and the local shelter.
2. Friends or neighbors you could tell about the abuse. Ask them to call the police if they hear angry or violent noises. If you have children, teach them how to dial 911. Make up a code word that you can use when you need help.
3. How to get out of your home safely. Practice ways to get out.
4. Safer places in your home where there are exits and no weapons. If you feel abuse is going to happen try to get your abuser to one of these safer places.
5. Any weapons in the house. Think about ways that you could get them out of the house.
6. Even if you do not plan to leave, think of where you could go. Think of how you might leave. Try doing things that get you out of the house - taking out the trash, walking the pet or going to the store. Put together a bag of things you use everyday (see the checklist below). Hide it where it is easy for you to get.
7. Going over your safety plan often.

If you consider leaving your abuser, think about...

1. Four places you could go if you leave your home.
2. People who might help you if you left. Think about people who will keep a bag for you. Think about people who might lend you money. Make plans for your pets.
3. Keeping change for phone calls or getting a cell phone.
4. Opening a bank account or getting a credit card in your name.
5. How you might leave. Try doing things that get you out of the house - taking out the trash, walking the family pet, or going to the store. Practice how you would leave.
6. How you could take your children with you safely. There are times when taking your children with you may put all of your lives in danger. You need to protect yourself to be able to protect your children.
7. Putting together a bag of things you use everyday. Hide it where it is easy for you to get.

ITEMS TO TAKE, IF POSSIBLE

 Children (if it is safe)
 Money
 Keys to car, house, work
 Extra clothes
 Medicine
 Important papers for you and your children
 Birth certificates
 Social security cards
 School and medical records
 Bankbooks, credit cards
 Driver's license
 Car registration
 Welfare identification
 Passports, green cards, work permits
 Lease/rental agreement
 Mortgage payment book, unpaid bills
 Insurance papers
 PPO, divorce papers, custody orders
 Address book
 Pictures, jewelry, things that mean a lot to you
 Items for your children (toys, blankets, etc.)

8. Think about reviewing your safety plan often.

If you have left your abuser, think about...

1. Your safety - you still need to.
2. Getting a cell phone. Your local Domestic Violence Agency may be able to provide you with a cell phone that is programmed to only call 911. These phones are for when you need to call the police and cannot get to any other phone.
3. Getting a PPO from the court. Keep a copy with you all the time. Give a copy to the police, people who take care of your children, their schools and your boss.
4. Changing the locks. Consider putting in stronger doors, smoke and carbon monoxide detectors, a security system and outside lights.
5. Telling friends and neighbors that your abuser no longer lives with you. Ask them to call the police if they see your abuser near your home or children.
6. Telling people who take care of your children the names of people who are allowed to pick them up. If you have a PPO protecting your children, give their teachers and babysitters a copy of it.
7. Telling someone at work about what has happened. Ask that person to screen your calls. If you have a PPO that includes where you work, consider giving your boss a copy of it and a picture of the abuser. Think about and practice a safety plan for your workplace. This should include going to and from work.
8. Not using the same stores or businesses that you did when you were with your abuser.
9. Someone that you can call if you feel down. Call that person if you are thinking about going to a support group or workshop.
10. Safe way to speak with your abuser if you must.
11. Going over your safety plan often.

WARNING: Abusers try to control their victim's lives. When abusers feel a loss of control - like when victims try to leave them - the abuse often gets worse. Take special care when you leave. Keep being careful even after you have left.
 
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Darkdragon44

Well-Known Member
#3
DAMN..... i wish i found this thread eariler Alex whould have never raped me...he abused me for two years but stopped when my dad borke us up...damn i feel like a fool
 

red ribbons

Well-Known Member
#4
Just wanted to say if you do have your own financial accounts beware of financial abuse behind your back. Your abuser can get pin #s. credit card #s, etc. that personally belong to you and not him/her and totally drain your accounts, ruin your credit, run your credit cards up, etc. -if you are in a state with community property laws, you can be held responsible for all the damage YOU didn't do but the abuser did to you if the abuser dies.

Beware also if your abuser is trying to kill you along with him/her like in traffic accidents, risky situations, etc. KEEP YOUR EYES WIDE OPEN and don't be conned or lied to with endearing emotions that are lies.

Because of all I've been through and it's social stigma, I have no safe place to go. Make sure the place you go to IS safe. I've gone and been even more abused by the rescuer. Condescending, patronizing therapists, police, pshrinks are not safe either-they can do further harm...even people that are ministers. Just be aware of who you are really dealing with in any situation.
 
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