I've hated my life for as long as I can remember. I didn't have a childhood. I didn't have a real family. I didn't have friends until I was much older, and I had no memories, interests, or even a personality until less than 10 years ago, around the time I entered middle school. I can scarcely remember anything before that, probably because there was nothing. Because I was nothing. I've never experienced youth or innocence. I had both ripped out at a young age. I have never dated. I have never worked. I have never done anything except attempt to escape from everything around me, simply because I can't handle it. My art is the only thing that keeps me alive, and even that is losing its energy. As a pedophile, I can't expect anyone to sympathize with any of my pain, or understand it in any way. I can't expect people to reason with me, and I don't ever hold delusional hopes that I'll someday be happy. Because I won't. And I don't want to. Any happiness I could hope for would be wrong, and although I am a monster, I am not a monster, if you know what I mean. Inherently, I am wrong. Simply by being who I was born as, I am committing a crime. I am a walking aberration - a thing that should never have been born. I am a defective being, and there is literally no place in this world for me. And this is especially important - listen to this - because a lot of you who say you don't belong in this world don't know what the hell you're talking about. You ever tried being something that is unanimously hated by every single person on the globe, regardless of their religion, political stance, or moral code? You ever try being something so unthinkably horrible that it can't even be mentioned in every day conversation? Imagine being 14 and realizing what you are, that your life will never be like anyone else's, and that, even though you didn't do anything wrong, you are a black mark upon humanity. ...STOP with your "I don't belong, no one understands me" talk - you have NO idea. Okay? A being like me serves no purpose whatsoever. I've done nothing for anyone my whole life, and I know everyone here thinks they don't deserve to live, but I'm serious when I say I do not deserve to live. I deserved to die when I was a child. I deserve to die now. I wish that my parents would have cut my little throat when I was born. How could anyone in their right mind argue that I should live? What does the world need with me? I hate myself more than anything in the world. I've been miserable for so long that I don't remember what it's like to be happy. I'm not sure I've ever been happy. I've been in love once in my life, and it was when I was 16, and it was with a 9-year-old. Do you still think your life is pitiful? ...But I'm getting off topic... --- My point is this: a lot of you deserve to live. MOST of you deserve to live. You're good people, and believe me, I know the difference. The only people that really deserve to die are the mindless fucks who run my country, the mindless fucks who blindly follow them, and... well, sick fucks like me. So come on. Look at me, and then tell me if you still want to die. Think of it this way - if you die, people like ME will still be around. Does that seem right? Fuck no. If we can still live, then YOU sure as hell should. And I'm completely sincere. If I could hug you right now, I would. Just live. You'll find something worth living for. Please. I've been friends with people who went through depression, and for all of them, things got better. Things WILL get better for you. I have had to talk a friend out of suicide before, and now he's got a girlfriend, a job, and a LIFE. He doesn't talk to me much anymore, and I don't blame him. I want you to be like HIM. Not like me. ...Just don't have too many kids. I'm serious. There's too many people in the world. Stop making more. Or just... make less. Have like, one of them. Will you please do that for me? And for humanity? And for EARTH? Sincerely, -the empty rind of a fruit that never was.