Pets: Insurance against suicide?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Atompilz, Feb 25, 2011.

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  1. Atompilz

    Atompilz Well-Known Member

    Does anyone else feel like their pets are their only reason to stay alive?

    My cats are my only company pretty much 24/7, like friends, a partner and children all in two bundles of fur. I had two cats and lost my little girl in October, it broke my heart and I really didn't see the point in going on apart from for her brother, I loved them both the same. I know some people don't understand the bond with animals but for me they had saved my life years ago and were my everything. I had already had the worst year of my life and I just didn't see the point in anything, still don't. I kept panicking that something will happen to my boy and then I would have no reason to keep going. I even started planning what I would do so I would be prepared when the time came so I wouldn't have to go through all the aftermath of pain and grief.

    He needed company so I adopted two rescue cats, 3 and 12, part of the reason was as an insurance against suicide for the future, to give me reasons to stay alive. Can anyone else relate to that or have you done other things to give yourself reasons to stay?
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I can relate. When first my cat died 10 years ago, I felt as though my world had collapsed. Then I got my second cat. She's my constant companion - warm, snuggly, doesn't argue (often), and has a place in my heart.
  3. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    I guess for me.. definitely my pets, although my family would take care of them but still.
    I have a competitive spark & I use that as a motivator for keeping active & setting goals that keep me alive & moving. Without my endurance sports, I'm not sure how I would cope.
  4. Cpt-Fantastic

    Cpt-Fantastic Banned Member

    no or well maybe yes i have a dog a 11 year old jack russel, and hes my best and only friend in the world, but i know that when im dead hell be taken care of, so hes not the insurance or something like that, but the best part about it is hell never miss me because he is a dog. but on the otherside, he will miss all the benefits of having me as his owner, walking him, letting him sleep on the bed all day, giving him those superexpensive dentastix rip off ers from pedigree. yes i am a very good boss if i say so myself, if i had a dog life, id love to be my pet
  5. TheOncomingStorm

    TheOncomingStorm Well-Known Member

    Out of my four pets its oly My Dog..We rescued her from a rescue shelter after she'd been abused. My family dont have the time for her, and if i succeeded she'd be sent back (and then probably overlooked because she is a staffie.) She means the world to me, and is great company and gets me out the house.
  6. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    my cat keeps me here. even my psychiatrist asks after my cat every time i see her...
  7. whocaresx4

    whocaresx4 Member

    For me its my kids (not the furry kind).
  8. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I just lost my cat who I nicked named 24, because I thought I would take the bus one day after he has been 2 months and I am still here...J
  9. warrabinda

    warrabinda Well-Known Member

    my dog is the only reason i stay alive. if i died i couldn't guarantee my parents would look after her. i will one day regret spending the time i am online not with her.
  10. kittylover

    kittylover Well-Known Member

    My kitty cat Maddy keeps me alive. When I get home, she's meowing at me, happy to see me after being gone all day. She'll come cuddle and purr.

    She does this even when I'm depressed, which always helps me feel loved.

    Maddy doesn't care what gender I am, unlike people in real life. =(

  11. redemptian

    redemptian Member

    yeah i can rely too. my dog is a kind of life insurence he gets me out of the house...
  12. Isabel

    Isabel Staff Alumni

    Since my husband and I own a small farm, I live surrounded with animals. Some are pets. When one of my pets died, I used to be devastated. And to be honest, it still hurts a lot when it happens. My old girl Lenore, a beagle, passed this Fall and it was really hard. What I don't feel anymore, its the desperation that comes with their death. I do all I can for them when they are alive, but I learned its part of life to see them go while you stay behind. And your first duty is for those who are still standing. I think the turning point was Jasmine. She was one of my very first ewe and my favorite. I would sit under a tree in the pasture and she'll come and lie down beside me, her head on my lap. She was really the sweetest darn little sheep ever. The first time we bred her was a disaster. To make a long story short, after months trying to fix the damages, there was no choice left but to put her down. I guess I could just have retreated in my bedroom and mourn for days, but there was still three others ewes to care for, with their lambs, plus Jasmine's lamb which had survived. I know that while I can afford to be sad and mourn them, I cant go anymore into the depth of depression over their death. I don't think this means I love them any less. Over the years, I just became more centered over what it means to do so when they are alive, and learn to let them go when its the time. Because there is always a living creature who needs your help. So when Lenore passed away, a day after, I was on the phone inquiring about a good border collie breeder and Luath was home after 3 days. She has not replaced Len. She cant. The memories I have of Lenore span 11 years and are as unique as she was. We had the space and the need for a good working sheepdog. I don't expect of Lu to fill the void left by Len in just a couple of days, or even a couple of months. But Luath and I are creating new memories and slowly working our way to intimacy and closeness. In any case, I go through the motions of caring for her and while I do, it keeps the sadness in check. In many ways, mourning is an open-ended process. As long as the memories are alive, they can surface at the oddest time and while the pain is much attenuated, you still miss the one you loved, all of them. But somehow its tempered and blended with the joy of them having been part of your existence in the first place. How can you regret for them living in the first place? I once had a dog, Lenore, and for time, I warmed myself at her bright fire.

    So I guess, my insurance policy is not so much one pet specifically. But the faith they gave me that in this world, love is possible. And it can be found again once lost, if we leave the door open for it so it makes it's way back into our life. I apologize for terminal corniness but just trying to explain how I see it.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 26, 2011
  13. Atompilz

    Atompilz Well-Known Member

    So sorry for others who have lost furry/woolly friends. For me death is the hardest thing to deal with, as Marijo says it is openended, that is why I find it so hard. If I am down about money I know that may change, same for a lot of things, but with this I know my little girl will never be here again and I find it so hard to accept.
    It has affected me more than losing any people in the past as I spent every day with her and her brother, I depend on them so much and they were the only reason I didn't off myself 7 years ago. I know they would be looked after so it is not really that which stops me, more the thought of never cuddling them again or burying my face in their fur and kissing them, also because I would feel I was letting them down.
    I have never dealt with death well, I think about it a lot, losing my animals, my family, it all terrifies me. I used to be scared of dying myself but as I get older and more crap happens I don't seem bothered about it. A friend of mine says nomatter how bad things get he always reassures himself that one day it will end so nothing is permanent. I just find it so hard that one day everything was normal, both cats were fine and healthy, then suddenly the life had left her little body. It was so fast which I know is a blessing as she didn't suffer but in those few seconds my entire life changed forever.
    I have always preferred cats to people as they never let me down, they don't care how fat and ugly I get or if I am miserable, they know when I am sad and come to cuddle me and the only way a cat can hurt me is when they die and I hurt inside.
    The newbies are keeping me occupied, though it is sometimes hard as they don't all get on yet. A lady said that although it is hard and sad that we usually outlive our pets it also means that in our one lifetime we can give a home and love to several animals. The newbies are an abused cat, 3, who is terrified of everyone after being abandoned and beat up by kids with sticks and a pampered oldie, 12, whose owner couldn't keep her, both could have found it difficult to find homes. I decided they were perfect for me as they are just like me; old and senile, abused by people and doesn't trust anyone!
  14. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    My therapist talked me into getting a dog.. She said it would be good therapy for me.. It took me about a month to accept him because I was in the state of mind that I just didn't care about anything..Now he is my best bud.. Although he needs to have alot of attention..
  15. anonmn

    anonmn Active Member

    I think I said this in another thread, but one night I went out to get something I needed to kill myself (I couldn't find it, stupid internet misinformation) and when I came back my two dogs were right where I'd left them at the door, waiting for me. It broke my heart.
  16. Isabel

    Isabel Staff Alumni

    Hi Atom,

    Your post touched me a lot. There are days which are much less easier than others and when your heart just feels like a mass of scar tissues and the weight of the loss seems too heavy to bear. I always been much more afraid of the death of those I love than my own. The only reason I wish I had Faith that there is something else after death other than a big nothing, is that I could be reunited with my love ones, four and two legged.

    If my dog is barred by the heavenly guard
    We'll both of us brave the heat!
    W. Dayton Wedgefarth

    One of the hardest thing I've have found, is that people for which loving animals is not a defining characteristic, have a hard time getting what this is all about. I always dread the darn: "but its just an animal!". Or, "animals cant love you back". Its easier for me to relate to them in a positive way. I grew up in a less than perfect home, and the only consistent love, care and attention my siblings and I received came from our dog, Cleo. When Cleo got old and incontinent, dear mother decided she was too much trouble and had her euthanized even if she could have had more quality time with us. It's been 30 years and it still painful for me to think about it. But in time, while I never forgot her, I have found it was possible for me to love and trust again. And I was lucky enough to meet and marry somebody for which the love of animals, especially dogs, was as important as it is to me. When I met John, he was mourning his Akita, Ichiban. After Ich got into a serious accident, and when most people would have him put down, John spent months caring and rehabilitating him, lifting him every day (and Ich was over 120 pounds) and teaching him how to walk again. Besides all his other qualities and professional achievements, I knew right then and there he was the man I wanted to share my life with. He was not just talking about love, he was walking the walk. The real deal is much more about mopping the floor after your beloved has been puking than it is a candlelight supper once in a blue moon. Outside the fact that humans have a big neocortex, which seems to get us in trouble so much of the time, we are very much like dogs, with the same relational needs. We are social animals who thrive when we can establish positive, nurturing relationships. Dogs have a much better sense of who they are and of what is important, and just by being, can show us the way back home. I had many cats as well, but I confess that I don't get attached the same way. But I can relate to anybody who connect more with a pet than with people. And I sure understand your loss and how difficult it is for you to cope. There is no easy mourning when the loss touches to a deep emotional connection with a being who is at your side everyday, for better and for worst.
  17. bnghty

    bnghty New Member

    I have three cats and when sometimes i'm suicidal, i think about who would take care of them if i die, the answer is noone. So they are my reason of living, sounds pathetic but true.
  18. jota1

    jota1 Well-Known Member

    Its not pathetic. They are living beings that deserve all the love you can give them.
  19. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    i agree not pathetic my cats the sole/main reason im still here too
    like you say whod take care of her
  20. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    I lost my dog on Thursday to cancer, and it's been unbelieveably difficult, and it's led to a return of my plans for suicide. I still have a cat and another dog, who is really depressed and in need of extra love now.

    While I think that pets can be very theraputic and provide fantastic company, for me it is just too hard to deal with the loss when they die. Also, although I am generally very highly-functioning, I find it daunting to care for them sometimes.

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