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Phase one

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by deadpan, Mar 14, 2008.

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  1. deadpan

    deadpan Account Closed

    Today I handed in my resignation at work, I am quitting because I am fed up of people laughing at me with their eyes for what I do. I have also sent three emails to the Samartins asking them for advice on my Suicidal feelings. They have relplied to all three but their advice wasnt the best.

    Being free of work now sort of gives me more control over the next stage. I can plan more, as I have loads more time on my hands, and of course now I will be out of work my finances will cease and the debt collectors will come and take all my stuff away, like deamons in the night, like the people who have taken my worthless life from me.

    I have considered the deed and how I will do it over and over, especially at night, when my flat mate is sleeping, he cannot tell me otherwise, and only I can hear my thoughts. I need a note first, and I want to complete it this time, and not chicken out. I dont want to see a doctor, I know I am wrong to think this way, but after I am gone, people will soon forget about me. After all, that is what they want.
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    be very careful with all that spare time... it's exactly the opposite of what they recommend for treating depression. with loads of spare time you can get caught up in your negative thoughts

    why are you so opposed to seeing a doctor? you say you know it's wrong to think this way... is there some small part of you that hopes it will get better?

    don't take this as a guilt trip, but every suicide robs family and friends, even your flatmate. it is something they will take very, very hard, not matter how much you think otherwise.

    depression lies when it tells us these things - we are alone, unworthy, not fixable. you are worthy of feeling better, and you will def. be missed

  3. famous.last.words

    famous.last.words Forum Buddy

    Catherine is so right, is those times alone when the horrible thoughts of depression do the most damage. Since i made free time i have got fat and miserable, and things have been a bit better since i had things to fill my days.

    Use the opertunity of leaving your job to find something to fill your days which you want to do, wether that be volulenteering or a new job, find something to make you happy.
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