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Physically ill and planning my suicide

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by HFM, May 22, 2009.

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  1. HFM

    HFM New Member


    I'm looking for someone to be friends with who is going through a similar situation as me. I'm a 28 yr old female who's getting close to ending my life.
    I'm chronically ill and there is no hope of getting better. My quality of life is very low and I'm dependent on my parents. I sit and sleep in an armchair 24/7, I don't even know who I am anymore, I can't imagine what it must be like to just get up and go for a walk anymore.

    I have tried every avenue there is, but there is no help. Because I don't want to suffer anymore, and I don't want everyone's life to be in 'limbo' with my illness, I intend to take my life. The words hurt just to write them, because I have a lot to live for, but being this ill... there is just one way out.

    Is there anyone else out there who is going to take their life due to a physical debilitating condition, rather than depression?

    I would be grateful to hear from you.

  2. BriGuy

    BriGuy Antiquities Friend

    Hi... well, I am experiencing both... the depression is increased due to my physical disability. I became disabled 3 years ago, am now 36. I live with my mom, can't work, can't drive... I use forearm crutches for short distances and a mobility scooter for long distances, and am in extreme pain 24/7. The only thing the docs can tell me is I have severe nerve damage, but can't tell me WHY, the cause, and have nothing to help with the pain... as pain meds work on bone or muscle pain, not nerve pain.

    I sit around the house 90% of the time, all alone. I feel like a complete worthless burden, and feel my mom would be better off without me. I also recently fell in love, and thought I found a reason to fight on, to keep trying... but that is a complete mess, all I am doing now is crying, and I am 99.9% sure I will be alone forever. This week has actually been one of the worst, and am currently making arrangements, and wrapping things up. I have been trying so hard to keep pushing, faking my smiles through the days, trying to find reasons and hope to keep fighting... but I am pretty much out of hope, and my strength is running on empty!

    So, I do think I understand where you are and would be happy to talk anytime if you like! Feel free to PM, email or MSN me anytime!
    Bri :hug:
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Maybe both of u can support each other, and I bet you there are others who will join you...I was hit by a truck 5 yr ago and am in constant pain and on strong pain meds when I am not working/out playing...I am not fully dependent but more so than I let most ppl know...but somehow, even though I get extremely depressed at times about what I have lost, I feel I am living a meaningful life...and when I do not focus on the pain, I can really enjoy myself...a lot of this is how I have trained myself to see the world...J
  4. *sparkle*

    *sparkle* Staff Alumni

    I also experience both. I'm sorry you feel so bad. PM me if you would like to :hug:

  5. I am in the same boat. I have extreme pain all day. I have kidney damage and they hurt all day. The pain is unbearable. I also have to scratch myself all day because of weak kidneys. I do not want to go on anymore. I drink heavily everyday to numb the pain, but of course I can not drink 24 hours a day, especially at work. The pain makes me wish I was dead.
  6. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    yea I have health problems including the loss of my manhood if you get my drift, I dont understand why anyone would want to kill themselves if they are healthy, life is good, once your health goes you will wish you can get it back

    I have a hard time sympathizing with most people here because they are depressed for no reason
  7. BriGuy

    BriGuy Antiquities Friend

    How can you judge what is a reason to others or not? Just because some of them have their health doesn't mean they don't have problems!! Everyone's reasons are important to THEM!

    As noted in my post earlier in this thread, I personally have a major medical issue that causes extreme pain. But I have friends on here that do NOT have medical/physical issues, but their problems or issues are JUST as IMPORTANT and just as troublesome as a physical problem. So I think it is highly unfair to judge someone just because they may not have a physical/medical affliction! Chemical imbalances are a major cause for depression, and that is JUST as serious a medical condition as any other!!

    As far as I am concerned, my problems are no better or worse than anyone else, we are all equal on SF, because to OURSELF, our individual problems are already or almost too much to bear... and that is all that matters, how we feel about OURSELF!

    So please don't judge anyone's 'reasons' for being depressed or suicidal... and remember, sometimes people only post ONE thing that has triggered them, when in fact they may have MANY other issues, including a possible health issue, that you don't even KNOW about! So please don't judge!
  8. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    That isn't true. There's always a reason. It may not be obvious or may not make sense to you. It may not be something that would get you down but it (whatever "it" is) very obviously has a major impact on some people.
  9. Ants

    Ants Well-Known Member

    Well excuse me... I don't believe anyone has ever said "Get over it it's just Diabetes." Depression in many cases has physical origins. Not to belittle your situation, but your judgements on others wears thin quickly.
  10. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    whatever, unless you are physically repulsive to look at, like the elephant man, or you have some legitimate physical problems, I just cant sympathize with to many people

    It is when you get to the point you are physically repulsive to look at or you have some physical problems that you only wish you can go back to the time when you were just depressed over simple things or basically wallowing in emo self pity

    And yea I have been there, wallowing in emo self pity, now I am fucked and only wish I can go back
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