pictures say too much

[crookxshanks]

im getting really scared of going into my art therapy group tomorrow. not looking forward to it at all. its sort of been a course for the last few months and we are evaluating all the pictures we've done. theres one that i never want to see again. ever. just the thought of putting one weeks work away since i did that picture and seeing it again has terrified me.

every week we've had to talk about our pictures and the therapist pushes so hard that the innocent picture i drew to do with the narnia story 'the lion, the witch and the wardrobe' story had me in tears as she pushed me to make me say all the horrible feelings i had as a rejected child.

the picture i am so fearful of got brought up in the next weeks group and pushed me so far that i kept having such bad suicidal thoughts that i ended up on an anti-depressant. which didnt work because of my epilepsy. ive only just managed to drag myself back to a place where ive forgotten about the picture i drew and it was done and hopefully dusted. now im terrified of tomorrow. not only of seeing it again but what the repercussions of the picture may be. i dont want to be dragged down that low again. im low enough anyway but i dont want to be dragged back to the edge like i was last time

ive tried talking this through with the therapist in question in so many different ways but shes adamant taht i go through with it. i just cant get out of anything to do with that picture. and i can feel myself already starting to be dragged down

 

[Oak]

hun reading your post I wonder the usefullness of this art therapy if all it does is deeper your depression. Have you thought of trying other type of group meetings beside the one you are doing at the moment? I'd give a last try at talking it out with the therapist and if she still stands on her position, look for other means to help yourself. Ask your psichiatrist for referal on this. You are epileptic so many medication must be avoided, i am in the same category, but some do not provoke seizure or worsen them. Your shrink must know which is best to suit your need. If you need to talk, you can pm me.

Dont stop looking for other avenues to better your situation dear.

stay safe and strong
granny