Pills and Life

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by AfterFact, Jan 10, 2010.

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  1. AfterFact

    AfterFact Well-Known Member

    Im numb, my feelings are gone, my mind is gone, my friends are no longer my friends, my life is no longer in my control, my care for anything is replaced with utter emptyness.
    Only one thing makes me feel, gives me feelings beyond just pain, reminds me of my life before my downfall, my life before being a asshole to everyone, including people on this very fucking forum, that is of course pills.
    For a few days I thought it was behind me, but now the urge is back, along with the means to a painfull, and definite demise. I do not care if I live or die, I simply care if I feel, pain is simple a side effect of my desire, something that can not be avoid. Life is meaningless to me, my will to live replaced for a desire to feel pain, to feel utter suffering and discomfort, to remember my past life, for that is all there is for me now, for I know why lies ahead, oh yes I know it well, the void, the coldness of death and decay. <Mod Edit:Shades-methods> The urge is too great, the means to my urge, is nearby, ready for tonight, when I will act.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 10, 2010
  2. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    You might not die but you could very easily damage your liver and other organs.

    An excruciating existence, I would urge you to reconsider.
  3. AfterFact

    AfterFact Well-Known Member

    an excruciating existence would only last for the small time it would take for my organs to shut down.
  4. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Oh they would probably be able to keep you alive despite them shutting down, dialysis and all that.

    Not trying to scare you out of it, but you are young and are likely going to regret it in the future. Think about it.
  5. Confusticated

    Confusticated Well-Known Member

    The only reason most people overdose is because they don't really want to leave, they want the cry for help to be recognised by people who won't listen. I'm not saying this is the same case with you, but think about it for a second, I mean I saw you say you don't care whether you live or die, but if you did this and someone found you, it could go one of three ways.
    1, you'd die.
    2, you'd be found, get the help you need, and be looked at as the person who overdosed for the rest of your life.
    3, if you're lucky, the same as number two except you'll not be looked at as the person who overdosed for the rest of your life.

    There're other ways to get help, if that's really what you're looking for. This isn't the way, and as it has already been said, it will be one of the most painful things you can do if you live through it.
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