Pills

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by GoldenPsych, Feb 16, 2008.

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  1. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I know in cupboard there are about <mod edit:resistance - methods>. i am wondering if that would do it. if not i can always go out and buy more tomorrow if i wake up from it. i know i am with ,y bf right now but if works then i dont have to worry about that. my main thing today... i was at work and in walks this police officer. He came in for appointment to see me. I knew I recognised him from somewhere. He asked what area i lived in so i told him then i could tel by way he looked at me he knew who i was. He was one of the cops tht had been in my flat. So my job i do lot of question asking. he didnt come in as of that fact he came in as a person who was coming in to sort his stuff out... dunno if that makes sense. obviously dont wanna say too much detail as dont wanna give clues to who i am. I dont know what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 16, 2008
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Please, put off buying more pills. You've been through so much lately. Try to just give yourself a break for a bit. Try to build yourself back up some. Try that for the next couple of days and then think about those pills.
     
  3. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I have been trying that for the past 4 months and it is getting too much now. i am even now thinking about it around my bf. i didnt use to.
     
  4. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    hang in there. all you have to do tonight is find a way to stay safe one more night.

    i know how tired you are, and how tempting the thoughts are, even how overwhelming they are, but you can get through this. you mentioned earlier how distressing the letter from the social worker was. can you get rid of that energy some other way, like burning the letter or ripping it into little pieces? no matter what s/he said, you don't have to continue to punish yourself.

    next week you can devote some time to finding the right counsellor, or program, or community nurse... and with that you will find some more courage to keep up the fight.

    thinking of you tonight,
    catherine
     
  5. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I have tried to focus otherways. even if i dont tonight i dont know how much longer i cancontinue like this for. if it is not onight or tomorrow it will be soon. i was stopping myself for my bf bit now even that is not making me stay together1
     
  6. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    Re: Don't know what to do!!!

    I know that i could quite easily end everything tonight. I have sort of planned it. I know there is some things here that I could take, I will buy some more later. So that I am not found in my flat I am going to go for a walk and the rest well who knows. I dont know. I am feeling so down at the moment I dont know what to do or where to go. I can't continue like this. So tonight I will have the pills there and I will seriously consider it. If I start about 4ish and do it slow I wont throw them all up so more chance of it working. I cant go on like this anymore. I have had 4 failed attempts now and i cant keep failing at it!
     
  7. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    Re: Don't know what to do!!!

    hello friend, please reconsider. just hang on a few more days, as they say, help is on the way! sending you a big hug over the waves,

    c.
     
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