Pills

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by AfterFact, Jan 4, 2010.

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  1. AfterFact

    AfterFact Well-Known Member

    At first I took pills to try to kill myself. Now its an obsession. No matter how bad it hurts, I still do it.The stupid thing is, I dont even care about the side effects, I could care less about death, as I have been trying to reach death's embrace for a year now. I dont care about the constant vomiting, I always come back for more pills. I need help, and yet I havent told my parents, and when I get a psychiatric evaluation in a few days, I will lie about my sucide, my pain, my fucking stupid pill habits. And when im not harming myself overdosing on pills, im overdosing on fucking inhalers, of all fucking things. For example yesterday I inhaled an fucking asthma inhaler. Hell just a few weeks ago I took <Mod Edit: IrishDoll :Methods>
    I don't know what do with my life, im suicidal, and im a fucking prescription drug addict. One of these days one or both of those alliments will kill me, I guess it a manner of timing.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2010
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You don't know what to do Yes you do but youwon't do it. Tell the truth and get help go into hospital volunteerly and get help. Don't make your parents suffer because you refuse to do whats right for everyone and that is get help and stop this vicious cycle your on. you have the power to do this so just tell psych doctor what you have been doing how you have been feeling and start healing and help everyone in the process heal in your family.
     
  3. AfterFact

    AfterFact Well-Known Member

    My parents dont know about this, so they arent affected, atleast they wont be until I die.
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You should tell your parents how you're feeling. How do you think they'd react to it?
     
  5. AfterFact

    AfterFact Well-Known Member

    My dad would not care and then say something about no excuses not to get As and Bs. My mom would care and take to the hosiptial.
    No way in hell am I going to a fucking hospital.
     
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Ok, talk to your mum. Why are you against going to hospital? They're there to help you!
     
  7. AfterFact

    AfterFact Well-Known Member

    My life is gone, going to a hospital wont heal me.
     
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Your life isn't gone! You're young, you have everything ahead of you :) You're 13, I regret not seeking help when I was 13. Please tell someone how you're feeling. It could make the world of difference to you :)
     
  9. AfterFact

    AfterFact Well-Known Member

    It wont make any difernece to me, my family doesnt understand me, and theorpists wont either,
     
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I'm pretty confident that a therapist will understand, please give it a try..what do you have to lose?
     
  11. AfterFact

    AfterFact Well-Known Member

    Everything. My little secrets are all I have left.
     
  12. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Why do you want to keep your secrets inside? Wouldn't you feel better if you had someone to share them with?
     
  13. AfterFact

    AfterFact Well-Known Member

    That would ruin the whole point of secrets. It amazing how convulted that term has become.
     
  14. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I'm not sure I understand.

    Do you like keeping these secrets? Or is it something you wish you could share but feel you can't for some reason?
     
  15. the fleet asleep

    the fleet asleep Well-Known Member

    To ruin the point of a concept like "secrets" would actually be to resolve the root cause of their existence. In this way, there would be no convolution, only resolution.
     
  16. AfterFact

    AfterFact Well-Known Member

    Secrets are not meant to be shared, secrets are all I have left, if I share my secrets they arent secrets.
     
  17. neverwanted

    neverwanted Well-Known Member

    I tried to commit by taking pills. Thank fully my Baby brother woke me when i fell asleep. The vomiting and trip to hospital is something i really dont want to have to go through again. Taking pills is definately not the answer. They damage the body and leave you in pain which doesnt go away quickly.

    Best of luck x
     
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