Yeah i know what your thinking im pissed off with someone on here right? Well yeah your right im pissed off with myself. Im getting more and more agressive with people and its like its getting me down. My mind is like one constant gabber track it goes at 200bpm. Im getting paranoid at nothing and im angry with myself. I mean classic example of how fucked up my thoughts are at the minute, i was chatting to about 20 people last night and was supporting a lot of people not just from here but from other sites and i come online today and hardly anyone has spoken to me. That made me angry and its like wtf? I shouldnt be feeling like that. Its just wrong. I have a go at people on here and other places and half the time its over something really trivial but in my head it gets blown out of all proportion. I would say sorry but for some people ive upset them far too much for it to mean anything to them. Then theres the jealousy and paranoia over bog all. I have no reason to be jealous or paranoid but in my head i assume im gonna get fucked over even though deep down i know its not gonna happen. Then theres my past. I seen someone on Facebook today that made me go over what happened to me in glorious technicolour detail and then i started thinking of ways to get revenge. Normally i can deal with shit like that but i guess it was because of who it was. And then there is my self righteousness. I cant help it. I try my best but occassionally it comes out in a really really bad way. At the end of the day i have got a shit load of things wrong with me is the bottom line and im sorry if ive taken things out on people. I really am trying my hardest so dont give up on me just yet.