Pissed off

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Kaos General, Oct 30, 2010.

  1. Kaos General

    Kaos General Well-Known Member

    Yeah i know what your thinking im pissed off with someone on here right? Well yeah your right im pissed off with myself. Im getting more and more agressive with people and its like its getting me down. My mind is like one constant gabber track it goes at 200bpm.

    Im getting paranoid at nothing and im angry with myself. I mean classic example of how fucked up my thoughts are at the minute, i was chatting to about 20 people last night and was supporting a lot of people not just from here but from other sites and i come online today and hardly anyone has spoken to me. That made me angry and its like wtf? I shouldnt be feeling like that. Its just wrong. I have a go at people on here and other places and half the time its over something really trivial but in my head it gets blown out of all proportion. I would say sorry but for some people ive upset them far too much for it to mean anything to them.

    Then theres the jealousy and paranoia over bog all. I have no reason to be jealous or paranoid but in my head i assume im gonna get fucked over even though deep down i know its not gonna happen.

    Then theres my past. I seen someone on Facebook today that made me go over what happened to me in glorious technicolour detail and then i started thinking of ways to get revenge. Normally i can deal with shit like that but i guess it was because of who it was.

    And then there is my self righteousness. I cant help it. I try my best but occassionally it comes out in a really really bad way. At the end of the day i have got a shit load of things wrong with me is the bottom line and im sorry if ive taken things out on people. I really am trying my hardest so dont give up on me just yet.
  2. black orchid

    black orchid Well-Known Member

    Never gonna give up on you :hug:
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    I know you're trying, and I have no intentions of giving up on you. :hug: I'm glad you posted and got this out.
  4. Kaos General

    Kaos General Well-Known Member

    Thanks both of you.

    Theres a good reason i keep all my thoughts to myself, i generally would upset people even more. Some of the things ive posted on here are tame in comparison to what im actually thinking at the time
  5. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    You don't have to keep all those thoughts to yourself though, that might be part of the reason they get so strong. You know where I'm at if you ever need to vent or get anything out.
  6. Kaos General

    Kaos General Well-Known Member

    Oh i know i do that anyway :lol!: :lol!::lol!::lol!:
  7. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I'm glad you let it out CN...I can relate to so much of what you said.. I do the same....
    I wish I could fix it..
    I have to keep biting my tongue...it's covered in scars.
  8. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    not ever gonn a give up on ya hun. ya are always welcome to vent in as much detail or do as much stamping of your feet and beating of the walls in a pm to me. i know i dont offer much in the way of useable advice, but getting it out far outwieghts keeping it all bottled up until it explodes in places you wish it wouldnt. :arms: keep getting it out!!! sure there are too many of us bullheaded friends and members that you couldnt offend if you tried your damndest (lol)!!!!!