Pissed Off

Ok , I have had a skin full, I'm fairly drunk for all you none uke readers.

Been out tonight, I guy I work with told me I'm not a bad bloke considerimg I'm homosexual, which is true, but Im so carefull to hide it, which isn't the point, if he thought it was funny or not it pisssed me off, even though he said it as a joke.

then a close " well by standards, which are very low" friend, chose to go off with a girl, he only met 3 hours ago, even though it wrong for him, he'll just bitch about what a mistake it was in the morning, rather than stay the night at my place

ok, i like him, he's younger than me and very cute, but he's not gay, so he's off limits, he has a very nice girl freind, who is taking a year off in australia, and he loves her to bits.

but still after I offered him my spare room, he decided to go shag this other girl he only just met, even though its wrong for him, and her

why has this pissed me off so much, i have no chance with him, he has every chance with his girlfriend, but yet he treats it so lightly, in the blink oif an eye I would swao places with him, yet he seems to care so little about him self or hid freinds, he says he does, but his actions speak louder than his words.

Im getting on, am I right to feel I have such a shit deal, in the closet, gay and all, yet my straight friends (27) seem to have it all and be intent on throughing it all away, girlfriends, friends, work, the whole 9 yards.

She asked him, whos palce would you rather spend the night, mine or hers, he chose hers, despite every bone in his body telling him that was the wrong choice.

Fuck, fuck, bastard, fuck.

I love him as a friend, but he's such an arse, when pussy is in the offering.

What did I do ( I have done nothing) that made me so undesireable, even if I am a fucking shirt lifting, gay, ****** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck, bastard, fuck !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry guys, but after a lot to drink, thats how I feel.

 

Ohh sweetheart, I'm sorry you're feeling so bad right now.

I'm sure you are not undesirable, please try not to put yourself down all the time (I suppose that's a bit rich coming from me, but still...). Calling yourself things like "******" only depresses you further, and also gives other people the 'right' to talk to you in that way.

Your friend has done a bad thing, and it's very moral of you to recognise that. I can understand why you feel jealous when he has a relationship and doesn't seem bothered about maintaining it and treating his girlfriend right, when you want to be in a relationship so badly. It's a perfectly normal reaction.

But it's really bad for you to then direct the anger at yourself. If you are angry with him because he cheated on his girlfriend whom he is lucky to be with then that's fair enough. The situation shouldn't be a catalyst for your self-hatred though. Your friend not finding you attractive is in no way a comment on your desirability given that he is straight.

One day you will meet and fall in love with someone great, and it will turn your life around.

Don't lose hope.

PS. Maybe you could consider registering with the site. I remember that you have posted before so it might be a good idea so that we can all recognise you as part of this community and you can have access to the rest of the site as well .

 

Well......

Today was the morning after, oh my head hurt at work all morning, probably wasn't in a fit state to drive to work !!!! (Not proud of that, should have got a taxi)

My mate made it to work, he phoned up saying "come and pick me up on your way in, I have no idea where I am, look out for me some where along the main road" hehehehehe

He claims nothing happened they just talked, yeah right, she was all over him like a rash, how he managed it in that state I have no idea, looked like death first thing at work.

And guess what, "why didn't you stop me", "I should have come back to yours", what did I tell you, he spent half the morning sulking !!!!!

It's not my fault he can''t keep it in his pants.

Here's the ironic part, the girl he got off with and her mates thought he was gay to start off with, he does dress quite gay and the girls were taking the piss out of him, when they first spoke to him, I wondered why they were so bitchy when him and another of his mates first walked in the pub.

Never even considered women being arseholes around gay man.

Life can be very strange at times, and not in a nice way.

 

Paul, I take umbrage at the name change. Cut yourself some slack hun.
This post has u calling yourself a ****** and now a fatman.
Take it easy on yourself please. :hug: :hug: :hug:

 

Thanks for the message (big hugs)

I just used that cos its my gaydar user name.

No wonder no ones clicks on my window !!!

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I see you have been having a tough time lately too, hope the roller coaster ride of life turns back up for you again soon

:flowers:

 

My step nephew ! says I'm too old to like "emo" music.

But just found a band called "Jonny Eat World", all fairly sad songs, teen angst type stuff, but strangely comforting.