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pitch despair

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by PitchDespair, Oct 14, 2008.

  1. PitchDespair

    PitchDespair Well-Known Member

    I love you mom

    I am sick of living. I want to be free of worries and emotions. I dont feel like facing the next day. I'm always fucking lonely and miserable. I'm that quiet guy, while everyone my age is out and having fun. There's no solution to this bullshit, it's been 4 years.

    I feel like fucking worthless shit. I wanna leave everything. I'm almost never happy, because of my anxiety. Why am I so negative? why the fuck am I writing here when nobody knows me and will forget me in a matter of minutes.

    I love you mom

    I don't feel like doing anything except getting drunk. I am a nice guy but I have no social life what so ever. Why am I getting these fucking thoughts? Why do I want to burst into a thousand tears yet I can't. Why isn't there anyone who can give me a hug in real life? Why should you care when I mean nothing? why are people so cruel? are you there god? are you fucking there? No? well fuck religon. Fuck everything.....i try...i do try..i try to be happy, i try to enjoy life, i want to..but something inside of me isnt letting me...who likes miserable people anyway? infact I hope everyone fucking hates me. feed my hunger. I'm always thinking of shit..I pretend to be strong but I just wanna leave this world forever. let me sleep. erase my pain. ill fade away slowly or ill burst with my wrath because I have alot of shit bottled up inside of me

    I love you mom
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hello PitchDespair,

    Welcome to the forum :welcome:

    I can relate to how you are feeling,I have no social life and all I want to do is get drunk...Do you see a therapist? Are you on any medication? I'm sorry I can't offer you any advice but I can offer you a friend :) Feel free to private message me anytime if you want to talk or just want someone to listen, stay safe :hug:
  3. xpsyuvz

    xpsyuvz Active Member

    Pitch despair,

    Other people in misery?

    I try too...

    My mom is so caring, I hate having to be so diplomatic with her -- I just don’t want her to worry...

    Just good luck -- sorry, that's all I can offer.
  4. PitchDespair

    PitchDespair Well-Known Member

    I haven't seen a therapist, but I have seen a doctor and all he says is do a blood test

    I always remind myself of my mom because it calms me down...I can't leave her alone like this...she puts up with all my bullshit and is so hardworking and always cares for me...I always try to ignore her when I'm in such a bad mood like yesterday...I still feel empty inside..