I just want to say I do not want comments, I just had to post my thoughts. Don't waste your time here, seriously. Help someone else here who needs you more... I am a lost cause. So I planned out my death. Every detail. I even devised a backup to ensure it works. I had a date set aside in my planning, a note that is coded and only 1 friend can translate. I even found a way to make my less stable friends think I'm still alive days after I've passed. More than enough time for someone else to be alerted to keep an eye on them & ensure they can't follow my footsteps. I am a little concerned about side effects of failure, but with these preparations, I don't think it would even matter. As my due date drew nearer I actually grew uncertain & decided not to go through with it, but still have all my preparatory notes saved. The date still hasn't arrived & I keep thinking back to them, and as I drop worse, I am slowly convincing myself that with all this planing it would be a shame to let it go to waste. I know that's stupid, but with every passing day it seems to make more sense. I don't really expect any help because I'm sure most people will say "don't do it" or "we've been there & it won't work" or "what about your family and friends?" but I just don't care anymore. Yes I'm selfish, I'm terrible, & I don't want to be here. I just needed to let my thoughts out.