So the time has come where I have planned the date, time, method A and back up method B of my suicide. I have been through so many years of loss & after the most recent abandonment of my foster mum I've had enough. I was tormented by her husband for 3 years as he is a covert abuser & now she has made it clear that despite plans to leave him & make our home a safe place, she no longer intends for this. Seen as I have been his target it is only fair that I leave because she won't deal with his abuse towards me. I lost my nan (my rock) two years ago & lost my sister to suicide in 2000. Now I understand why she did it. I am heartbroken beyond imagination & at 24 years old I am tired if being told constantly that everything is my fault. My father cares only to preserve his own happiness in his relationship & no one is there for me anymore; I have lost my support pillar. So that's it. I have made my decision & no one knows besides this forum. I could only hope that the people that I love will find the happiness that I never had the grace of finding. Maybe in my departure I may find the peace that I have craved for so long.