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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by wheresmysheep, Jul 20, 2009.

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  1. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    i dont know when where or how yet, but i'm going to start to plan my suicide. i dont think i should be living any more, i feel like my time is up i dont want to be here any more i''ve had enough
  2. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    Had a crap day / week, hun? :hug:

    Am here if you want to talk - just wing me a PM :)
  3. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    not os much a bad day/week just everything i've had enough of living of trying of coping of just breathing i dont want to be here i want to be freed from all this i dont want to continue this experience
  4. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    sometimes we just get tired.You don't have to be strong all day every day.Instead of telling yourself you are going to end it all,just say you are taking a little sabatical,even if it is just for one night...or a few hours..where you just release all the frustration from trying to be strong.This is how I get myself through many hours or even days.You need to let your heart and mind refuel.
  5. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    hey sheep..i jus wanted 2 say i hope ur ok.im goin thru a rough time aswel atm.so sorry if this dont help.i think ur a really amazin person and u hav helped me and lots of others in th chat so many times.the chat wouldnt be th same without u.please try and stay strong.i know how hard it is. :hug:
  6. jackiehall

    jackiehall Member

    Dear Sheep

    Can you tell me what needs to happen in order to fix your life? What would you like your life to look like? What do you believe is causing you to feel this way? What does your ideal life look like and what is stopping you from achieving it at this point?

    I am hoping I can help you, but need more information.

    Sending you lots of love and support.
  7. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    i really dont know what i want or need. if i'm honest i cant see past the end of the month. i dont know whats causing me to feel like this; maybe just the fact that i'm always fighting always trying to do right and getting it wrong, never fitting in just failing in general. i'm so tired so fed up i just want out
  8. jackiehall

    jackiehall Member

    HI Sheep

    thanks so much for responding. It is a relief to see that you are hanging in there. Can you tell me what you are fighting for or fighting about? Can you tell me what you are getting wrong and what your idea of getting it right is? In what way do you not fit in? Please bear with me as I think I can help you see clearly out of this, but I really need to get more specific information. Give me some examples.

    I hope that I'm not prying. I just want to help you.

  9. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    i'm fighting to stay alive, i've always been responcible for things ie my mother my brother things liek that since i was 7 i've just had enough of it all.
    i was trying to mix with some of my old friends last night and it ended up getting me in my mums bad books.
    i'm just always awkward and on the outside of groups never able to get things to talk about always nervous.
  10. jackiehall

    jackiehall Member

    Hello Again

    Thank you again for your reply. I have been doing some work with the Australian Depression Institute and their method is based on the most phenomenal method to help people get out of depression, anxiety and major stress. It is based on the fact that we are all taught that we need to Get our life right, in order to be worthy in this world and this is what is causing depression which can result in suicide. Through our own personal experiences we are taught what this 'right' way is and I can already see that there was something that happened around the age of 7 that has caused you to feel that you need to be responsible for certain things or people in order to prove you're worthy. So that means whenever something happens where you are unable to be responsible, or for whatever reason you feel you are being irresponsible, therefore able to prove you are worthy, you go into the feeling of 'why bother' or 'what's the point'.

    It is a big burden for you to carry feeling responsible for your mother and your brother, and hon, the reality is, you actually can't do that. They are their own person with their own thoughts and feelings and you cannot control what they do, you can only work on yourself. You are a valuable person because you exist in this world and because you are alive. That's what makes you valuable. Everyone that comes in contact with you learns from you, as you do from them and every single person is valuable in this world because they are unique and different and each person makes up a part of how the world is today. You are unique and there is no one like you and that is what makes you special. No matter what you are doing in this world you are special because you are impacting on the world in some way. The people around you are who they are because you have impacted on them. You are part of everyone's experience and that is why you are unique. there is nothing specific you need to be doing, or saying, because everything you do has an effect on the world in an important way. Imagine for a minute if you could learn a different perspective to the one that you have now? Imagine if you turned your life around and learnt a different way to think that saved your life and turned it into one that's pleasurable? Imagine if you were able to help another person who felt just like you, change the way they felt and stop them from taking their life? How do you think that would make you feel? You can make that difference. You can move past this time in your life and learn an accurate way of looking at this world.

    So if you are willing, I would really like to mentor you for this change. You will be helping me to practice my new skills in this field and I can hopefully help you in getting a different perspective on your life? What do you say? If you feel safer (of course because you don't know me) we can do it on this forum, otherwise you are welcome to PM me. It's upto you.

    If you are willing, the first thing that I want you to do is think about something in your life that you enjoy doing, or you think you might enjoy doing one day? Sports, drama? Or do you have any interests? computer games, computers in general, science, maths, comics, collecting, mechanics etc etc? It can be anything at all. If someone waved their magic wand and said you can do anything you want to (other than take your life) what would you love to do.

    Also, just to give me a bit more background to work with, can you tell me how did you learn that you needed to be responsible for your brother and your mother? Who taught you that that was what you needed to do and how are you supposed to show that you are responsible for your mother and brother? What do you need to be doing?

    The 3rd thing that I'd like you to do is whenever you start to feel bad, start writing a list of all the good things you have in your life. For example, do you have eyes that work, ears that hear, can you smell, taste, do you get to enjoy your favourite foods, do you go to school, do you have a job, do you have a roof over your head, water to shower with, water to drink, clothes to wear, games, any positive people in your life, interests, mentors, idols etc etc. Once you get started on the absolute basics that your life has to offer you will be surprised at how many things you will find that are good in your life. Do not stop writing this list until you start to feel better. then everytime you start to feel bad, keep adding to this list.

    I have to go for today, but stay with your thoughts about what you would like to do that you enjoy and what is going good in your life? Everytime you start to think about how bad your life is, start to imagine the different things that you might enjoy doing and let your imagination run wild with how much fun you could have doing just that and I will talk to you tomorrow.

    You have a beautiful life ahead of you, I can feel it in my bones and I am proud of you already for even being brave enough to have this conversation with me so far.

    Take care. Let's talk tomorrow.
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