this is probably pointless. ive been feeling very suicidal lately. i would say last night i was in crisis. now. im feeling the aftermath of being in crisis. i played with some pills last night. just OTC stuff. and by played with. i mean took. not enough to do any damage. but enough to knock me out for basically 24 hours. all i can think about is how i could possibly get some more pills considering its after they lock the doors of the hospital. im on restriction to the clinic anyway. and all i want is some more pills. i know its stupid thinking. i just dont know.