Currently I'm sitting in class, Fantasizing about cutting. last week I bought a pack of razor blades, last night I was just gently running them all over my body barely resisting the urge to plunge them down into my skin. I am being bullied by my two old best friends, rather harshly, I'm trying to stay up beat because i have'nt cut in about 2 years besides 1 relapse. But lately my urges have become harder to handle, Im used to fighting them every day, but right now I don't want to I want to drag Multiple razor blades deep across my skin at once and keep going over them until im a bloody mess and i can't move without opening one of them up. I'm resisting but barely, I know i should not have bou8ght the razor blades because they are also making it harder not to, i knew that when i bought them, but i cant throw them away. I'm fantasizing about cutting its invading my dreams waking and sleeping. I don't know what i expect to hear back but i needed to tell someone about this.