Please can you help me? ~ its ok if not, nobody never can

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by lost_child, Nov 24, 2010.

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  1. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    I dont even feel like I should be posting, I don't know why I am really sorry. I struggling so much and I have no where to turn. the last few days my head has been filled with nothing but taking my own life, <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods> everything I see, I see as something to use to end this so called life.

    I'm not happy, I am getting worse, I am trying to get help to get off heroine by my ex won't leave me alone and injected me several times in the neck I was hoping it would kill me, I was hoping it would send me over and i would die. my new drug worker just says don't go to him, doesn't understand that I don't care about enough to fight back, that if I don't do as said he will spike my drink, he will do something and then hit me, rape me and still inject me...but i go back to him, i go to him in the hope he will kill me, i want to die.

    tonight i've cut, i want to keep cutting until i bleed to death, i want to inject inject inject until i die. i want to die. i have nobody to speak to, lonelyness is a killer. thoughts, flashbacks are a killer. depression is a killer. I am dead inside, just existing on the outside.

    I'm ready to die, I want to die. kill me please. DH kill me please. me kill me. i want to die as i just so no other way to get out of this hell. I don't know what else to do, too many times I've been here, too many times I've tried to get help, too many times too many and now its over, i want out. please can you help me. please? Please? I won't be missed, its not a loss, I am nothing therefore I won't be missed or even noticed that I'm dead but I need your help please? I am begging please can you help me? please?
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 24, 2010
  2. victor

    victor Account Closed

    im the easy case, i was on coce. My friend is the hard case, he was on heroin. u know, what? im fucked as i can be, he has a wife and child. doesnt make sence, does it?
    Well, id doesnt 4 me. i so wish i was in his place! even tho ive never been to prison and ive never spend 10yrs on heroin.
    This mutherfucker is happy now. im not.
    Its not about drugs. drugs can fuck u up, but u can always find a way out, if u want to. pls be strong. if ure in uk. I can introduce u to this guy who won this battle
  3. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    i wanted a way out of just hasn't happened, I have tried..I have tried everything...but with a dual diagnosis getting help is difficult, you fight to survive, you fight to get help, you fight to beat an addicition, you fight to beat the thoughts..but the fight becomes to big and thats whats happened I I no longer want to fight, yes I am weak, I am taking the easy option, I am being selfish, I have thought abuot my family, I have done nothing but think...called the numbers, but there is nothing more I can do. I'm tired of life, i am tired and ready to die. I just want to die. sorry I know i'm pathetic, nasty and evil so the world will be better off without a loser like me init. goodnight and goodbye...this loser has lost the battle. I AM WEAK AND A LOSER I AM HATED AND I HATE ME.

  4. All these mixed emotions

    All these mixed emotions Well-Known Member

    This is so cruel :(

    I dont even know where to begin... this really breaks my heart...
    The way he messes you up, its like the worse ive ever heard, its so sad.

    It sound like something you should go to the police with... You must loose the guy somehow

    Death is always a loss and life is always a struggle until you reach your goals

    I hope that you will find another way, away from all that... Back to life...

    Killing yourself is like punishing the wrong person
    Someone will love you the way you deserve, give it time and think things trough

    Please take care and fight for your rights.. please I hope that you didnt do it!

    big hugs

    I am so sorry that this happened to you, I truly am

  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    sign yourself in to a womens shelter and stay there theywill protect you from him get you treatment you need to get clean. hospitals can set you up with getting clean too. first thing you need to do is get to a women shelter and stay there and have no contact with him NO CONTACt get it do it now call womens shelter now and LEAVE his sorry ass once and for all.
  6. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    oh, lost child, I'm so sorry that you are in so much pain!

    here is some info that might help

    Freephone 24-Hour National Domestic Violence Helpline
    Run in partnership between Women's Aid and Refuge: 0808 2000 247

    Refuge's network of safe houses provency accommodation for women and children when they are most in need.

    Women's Aid
    Women's Aid is the national domestic violence charity.
    They work to end violence against women and children, and co-ordinate and support over 500 domestic and sexual violence services across the country.

    I hope that this helps!!!!!

    I know it's impossible lost child, but I wish I could send you so much love it would take all of the pain away!

    You deserve love and comfort and healing! I love you!

    Please call one of the numbers and get some help!
  7. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    If you die then as far as I'm concerned your ex boyfriend has murdered you. What you're going through is horrific and totally unacceptable. No woman should have to go through your experiences.
    You do need to get to a shelter and you need to be in the hands of people who can look after you. You need proper help to get through this, nobody could do it alone.
    You also deserve the help. To survive so far? Incredible, you're an inspiration to other women. You deserved to be helped through the rest of it, we need examples of women who survive like you have.
  8. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    i have been trying to get help all day, i have tried different help lines ive tried my CPN, my drug worker but nobody was there, or could help me today. i cant do this no more. i want to escape him, i moved away from him but he found me, i live in an area where i dont know anyone to escape him but its not happened. i hate myself so much that i feel i deserve everything he does. its only been going on for a year now but i just cant take anymore. i want to die. i will die i told my worker i wouldn't survive the weekend and i wont unless i can get help. nobdoy waants to though, not nobody that sees me. sometimes i just want to be held, but i have nobody. sorry. than you for ur replies and advice, i ahve tried to escape him but i just dont' seem to have the strength left to. hes injected me and hit me again today he had sex again i've stopped fighting him, when i do he just takes the sex or makes it so that i don't know whats happening and then has sex. sorry i do want help i have been trying but i got no where. i now want oout. i will be dead this weekend. sorry
  9. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    Lost Child, I hope that someone can help you!

    Here is the contact info for the Samaritans in the UK

    Samaritans UK & ROI
    Contact by: Face to Face - Phone - Letter: - Email:
    Helpline 1: 08457 909090 (UK local rate) or +44 1603 611311
    Helpline 2: +44 (0) 8457 90 91 92 (UK minicom)
    Helpline 3: 1850 60 90 90 (ROI - local rate)
    Helpline 4: 1850 60 90 91 (ROI minicom)
    Email Helpline:
    24 Hour service:

    you can also call the police and go to the hospital and tell them that you are suicidal

    and please keep posting here too if that helps!

    my prayers are with you. And here's some hugs!

    :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

    I wish I could give you real hugs instead of just smilie hugs!!!
  10. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    oh, and maybe you can keep on trying the shelter numbers. They may not have been able to help you that day, but they may be over burdened.

    :console: :console: :console: :console: :console:
  11. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

  12. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Please get help lost child and leave that guy immediately. You need to go to a shelter so that you can detox from the heroine and be away from that guy who keeps injecting you with it. Please don't give up hun. You're a survivor. :hug:
  13. call the police
  14. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    I hope lost child is okay. :hug:
  15. Tiredofitall

    Tiredofitall Active Member

    I want to die but I'm scared. I want to live but I'm scared. I want to try but I'm scared I'll fail. I'm tied of hearing that heaven or hell awaits. I really hope not. Just blackness would be good. No feeling, no remembering, no anything. Just gone and over with.

    But what if we don't just end? What if it all gets worse? That's the cruel joke of it all. What if this is the good part???? Oh My God!!!!!!!!

    Scared to live, scared to die. Scared to fail, scared to try.

    Pretend you care or leave me be, in death we may find remedy.
  16. All these mixed emotions

    All these mixed emotions Well-Known Member

    I send love... some fights are for winning and some for losing...

    hope you didnt loose, but i understand if its now a lost child under the stars

    I will drop my tears now... lifes so fucking mean!!

    Hugs and bless

  17. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    please help me. please? im getting worse not better. life is getting more difficult. on the 16th December it will be 5 years sincd I was raped and it trifggerd memories from my childhood. i used to cope before i was hurt and since then ive been hyrt bu others i got mixed into drugs and drink. i keep getting hurt i dont know how to keep myse;lf safe. i need help and have asked byht nobody is listening i need help i keep raking tablets to end it i keep driving badly wishing someone would crash me kill me i see visions of me dead. i am scard. i want to feel safe i dont i want someone to hold me but nbody will. i need a hand to hold me. i need a friend. im sorry. i won't make it this week i honeslty wont make it the police are chcking on me cause i have told my drug worjer i cant fight anymore i cant do this. please will one person listen, will one person help me, hold me, fight for me as i don't have the strength. if not, please someone tell me what i need to do to esnure i die. I am now thinking of jumping and dying like the women voice says to me.
  18. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    nobody can help can they. nobody wants to help. i am hated by everyone but no more then i hate myself. my soul is already gone, just waiting for this body to join the soul. its over i've tried everything i know, alll the numbers i have but there is nobody. i am alone, i am a lonely, you all hate me, want me dead, just like people who sees me, everyoen wants me dead. least now ur all be happy, everybody who wishes me dead will get they wish. im sorry. i did try. take care/
  19. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    Have you been seeing a therapist? Do you have someone who you can talk to?

    We all need to be willing to change and try new things and try to get better- in order to get better.
    If you don't want anything to change; then it won't.

    Just try to find the strength inside to change!
    Things can get better, but you really have to want it to!
  20. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    oh Lost Child, please don't say bad things about yourself!

    I think that people here want to help you and we are doing the best that we can.

    Please try calling the helpline numbers again.

    What has happened when you called before?

    If you feel that you are in a dangerous living situation now, maybe you can go to a shelter.

    Please don't drive dangerously! That is the worst possible choice you could make both for yourself and for others. What if you ended up killing someone who could help you? What if you ended up killing innocent people? I don't think that this is something you want to do.

    ok, so calling the suicide number, what happened? can you try calling again?

    ok, calling women's aid and refuge, what happened? can you try calling again?

    can you talk to your case worker again? what did you say to your case worker, and what kind of response do you get?

    I think that there is a way that you can get help, but the only thing that I can think of for you to do now is to keep talking here, keep describing the obstacles that you come across, and keep on trying to get help through the help lines and health care system.

    I love you Lost Child and I am trying to help!!!!

    :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

    :console: :console:
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