I don't know what this pain is that i feel inside, I want it to just go away. I try to pretend I'm happy, but i know that my smile is a lie. Every night i slit my wrists more and more, hoping that it would get rid of my emotional pain, but its still there. Suicide sounds like the only option, killing myself will get rid of all my pain. so here i go... And as I'm lieing on the floor trying to gasp for my last breath, I realize my pain will be over soon, And for that couple seconds i was the happiest i could've been in a while. Dull - thats what i am after the buzz is gone and im myself again weak - dropping to my knees wishing I could die but I cannot even cry Pain - that's all i feel Emotion hurts the worst In this life I've rehersed Fake - only way to get by Only way to have a smile without starting to cry Broken - not knowing who I am I want things my way but what's that anyway? Torn - I try yet I do not care Why should I try so hard if i might not be here? Outcast - talking to my thoughts Wishing I could be... a person no one can see... Failed - at life at everything I'm going to dive deep into me with the blade that'll set me free... Maybe you think its stupid Maybe you think I'm mad But that is what I do When I get really sad Feels like I'm drowning in my tears get lost in all the pain Thats when I feel I'm about to explode And reach for the razor blade It doesn't hurt - i like the steel It makes me feel alive and real I press the blade into my skin I feel the metal wander in Life can turn you upside down Grab your legs - throw you around Mess you up - make you cry Make you feel the need to die As soon as blood starts flowing I know Ill be alright The scars I'm never showing They are my biggest secret that i hide. Sick and tired of life, I'm just wanting to die, Waiting for my happiness, Up in heaven through the sky So many thing go wrong, Unhappiness controls me, I let it all hide, Inside my personality Do you see this smile, I'm telling you it's fake, Really I'm crying inside, By this heart ache Do you see this laugh, It's not what I feel inside, Cause when my heart got broke, All of my heart died I've been hurt too much, I don't care whats in store, God just let me die, I can't handle it anymore And sometimes it seems worth it. But other times its not. You gotten to my head. And managed to break my thoughts. It's pathetic isn't it? That I don't even know what I want. Maybe it's just a dream. Not real at all. Maybe you were sent to me, to put me through a test. The kind where one ending is life, and the other happens to be death. Life, is the ending I want to choose, But the death one is so near. It's being abandoned that I've conquered, But being alone is my fear. In this world of lies, Theres only one thing that has proven true. And Sadly that seems to be, I can't be mad at you. After everything you've done, After all you put me through, No matter what happens, I still can't hurt you. It doesn't feel right, Not when i try. I just couldn't take it, If I made you cry. So this is the end, And I'm done with life, No more beginnings and no more ends, Just one last slice.