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Please give me 3 good reasons

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by greginnc, Aug 29, 2011.

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  1. greginnc

    greginnc Member

    I have survived a brain tumor. I have survived a near death experience that cost my co worker his life. I have survived the walking out of my wife four years ago. I always thought of myself as a survivor but not now. There is only so much weight so much stress so much disappointment so much of anything that a person can physically go through. 3 more days and my house will be in foreclosure and it will all be over with.

    I have no one that can loan me 459.00 dollars and social services wont do it either. I had to listen to my son weep because at 14 he has no idea where we will be. This is just to hard for me to take. His mother left him 4 yrs ago and now that the guilt is getting to her I reckon she'll have some time to catch up as he will have to go there to her as bad as he hates her and with good measure for her actions caused all this mess.

    I am faced with two options and they are not enjoyable but they are the truth. Death is really the only option as that is the only escape from this mess. THere is no other home, no other residence as I am a long term unemployed that has submitted thousands of resumes thousands of contacts trying to find that job that will solve these financial woes has eluded me for two years now. Do I want to die? Do I look forward to ending this life? Yes in some areas I do as I wont have to live with the countless nights of no sleep. No more thoughts chasing me no more of anything just a quiet end to all this turmoil. Four years of turmoil is long and how much more can a man really go through?

    Option 2 living on the streets. Here I am with everything paid for that has taken yrs to pay for and then it is all gone and I am run out of my home like a stray dog. 20 months left and this place would have been mine deed title and clear. How can I go on? Do I want to forage for food like an animal? If my family and friends wont help me now why should I expect them to when I am down and out. This option is not to work for me and sorry but I just dont have the strength to go through it. My sons will miss me and yes they will take it hard but their mother works against me anyway so coparenting has always been difficult.

    Nope I have no hope and cannot expect any hope but one thing is for sure I had a good life and I enjoyed what was the good part, however; this part of ongoing stress, worry, just the trying to survive is to cumbersome and too difficult now. I have no reason to live no reason to go on as I have trudged as far as I can now go. The only question is how to do it.

    I hate myself for allowing myself to get caught up in this mess and I hate myself for what my boys have gone through and I just flat out hate myself.

    Sorry for the long post and sorry for taking your time as I am just wandering out there in space just taking the time to write this only to delay the inevitable.

    Wouldnt you know it my phone will not work so calling someone is out of the question and makes me wonder if that is a omen or what.
  2. ziploc_bag

    ziploc_bag Active Member

    I'm pretty sure your son would be more upset about losing you. Homelessness is a difficult thing to deal with, but if he is alone on his own facing it...
  3. greginnc

    greginnc Member

    At least he can to his mom's and her boyfriend. Let them deal with his wrath is all I can do
  4. cutiepie132

    cutiepie132 Well-Known Member

    Reason 1: cause we care

    Reason 2: cause your son loves you

    Reason 3: I'll give you a possible solution to your problem

    Since you only have 3 days left, wow makes it hard. Wish you could have posted this sooner.

    If you have a decent home, and an extra bedroom is available, get a roomate, you can get a deposit, and first months rent, and use that to pay that bill! Man, get more than one if you need to. Your son could bunk in the room with you. At least you wouldn't lose your home.

    Since 3 days are so near, I do not know. This would suck one. Have you thought about a loan?? Maybe get online and apply for a credit card to pay this.

    Pack some stuff up and go out on the road and have a big sale. Don' be afraid to get rid of some stuff, it can always be replaced. Put a big jar by all your stuff asking for donations to help you keep your home. Put these jars in all stores you live by and you'll be surprised by people that'll try to help.

    Anything worth some fast cash in your home, gold jewelry, sterling silver, guitars, your computer, any kind of pond shop stuff, you could take there and sell or get a loan for it.

    Call your local churches and tell them the bind that you are in and see if they have any cash available where they could help you. Tell them what you told us sweetie, I know they would try to help.

    But whatever you do, don't give up!! You might find what I've told you, might actually work.
  5. greginnc

    greginnc Member

    Ok Cutie after I get back from my drug test for a job that I recently got hired for I am going to do your advice. :)
  6. Raphael1

    Raphael1 Well-Known Member

    okay if you cant get the money can we all chip to help with the payment.

    I can give you up to $100
  7. cutiepie132

    cutiepie132 Well-Known Member

    I would donate some too, might not be alot because my income is just SSI, but I guess anything would help you at the current moment. If you want to, email your address and I'd happily do that..

    But don't you dare give up.

    Get a nice size jar, put on there, that your going to lose your home in 3 days if you don't get some help, put a picture of you & your son on it, and ask for donations. I don't know of any store that wouldn't take up collections for you. Where I live, they'd be more than happy to do this.

    I don't know much about foreclosure but could the bank give you a little more time to get the payment in? Maybe it wouldn't hurt to call and ask.
  8. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I think you listed one good reason. Your son hates his mother. If he has to go live with her he will probably come to resent you as well.

    Reason number 2,you almost own your house. 20 months is not that long. I am sure you can find some job, any job to afford your home. At this point anything should be good enough. You are so close, why give up? Maybe it is time to suck up your pride and get a job at McDonalds or Wal-Mart. Is that any worse than being homeless?

    Reason number 3,:D for revenge on those friends and family members that did not help you. You can get a job and be doing well. Then if they come to you for help. You can help them and remind them how uncaring they were to you when you needed help. :D you know lord it over them a bit. That is always fun.

    I know it gets harder to find work the longer you are out of it. Hence why I think you should take any job you can find. If anything it can show you are working to make ends meet for your family. You can do it friend.
  9. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    1/ You always have a tomorrow, to try to make it better.
    2/ Your sons love you.
    3/ You love your sons.
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