please give me advice

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Jonny295, Feb 4, 2009.

  1. Jonny295

    Jonny295 New Member

    Firstly let me apologize about the lactluster title, really there are many more important things on my mind right now and i can't think clearly.

    My story starts about two years ago, almost to the day. One of m close friends and i decided to get together and after a week we were both deeply in love with one another. I was 17 my girlfriend was 18, both in college. Things were great until we left college, she was pregnant. Both being against an abortion (we'd already been through one painfull abortion) we decided to keep our little girl and lo and behold 9 months later we have a darling baby, our own place ad fantastic jobs.

    Things go downhill from here, firstly I didnt settle into being a father, i couldnt do it at all, couldnt change bums, make bottles, not even hold baby. I started to get upset, then to make matters worse I lost my job. This all happened in the space of two months. Next we can't afford the rent because i'm unemployed and can't find a well enough paid job. By this point my girlfriend is falling out of love with me because of our situation. She pretends she's still in love though, for our sake and the babies.

    the baby is 8 months old, it's december. My girlfriend is on drugs for depression. One of my older friends (im 19 by now, he was 39) has gotten close to my girlfriend, they both work together. I'm still unfortunatley unemployed and not a role model dad, eternaly scared of dropping or harming my daughter. Early december my girlfriend say's she wants to break up with me, I'm upset of course but agree to leave after a short row. the next morning i call her and ask the question that pricked my mind all night "Is there another man?" I ask. "Yes" she said, it's my friend. They have yet to sleep together but my girlfriend believes all males want sex, and sleeps with them to get them to stay. I plead but tro no avail. Two day's later in the our flat, he tries to sleep with her, but lucky for me it's the wrong time of the month. Knowing he isnt going to get anything, he dumps her the same day. She's distraught and blames me for her failed affair. the next day though she's calling me up apologizing.

    That same day I head up to her mothers house to meet her. She says she's sorry and is unsure if she wants me back or not. i stay the night, then the week then the month. She say's she loves me again, i get my family back. We still argued often though, about petty things. With the credit crunch hitting britain i find it even harder to get in work but we move out of the flat and into my girlfriends mums.

    now we come to february 1st, we've argued a lot lately, she's texting another lad from her works, the same as last time and understandabley im a little paranoid. I've taken to self harming to stop myself from getting upset about it but stop when i think of my daughter. Things are going downhill, she starts attacking me when we argue, but i love her so much i cant leave, plus she always takes it back.

    February 4th, the biggest arguement we've had, she says she hates me for forcing her to stay with me out of guilt, claims my family abandoned me (they moved away to another contry when i was 17) and says she's all i have left, then tries to kick me out. I still love her and argue about it. She attacks me with everything she can find, roses, pictures, and then a knife, she tried to cut herself whilst blocking the door but i break in and stop her. Now she goes and gets some scissors and runs out into the cold (english/welsh people will know). I chase her and she attacks me with the scissors. I have a bad gash onmy left hand and my girlfriend ran away leaving myself and her daughter behind, she has no money, hardly anything on for this type of weather and no im sat here, worried to death about the woman i still love and couldnt let go, she hasnt come back yet, if she ever will...

    help me please
     
  2. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    :hug:
    im sorry that she left
    right now all that you an do
    is hold your beloved daughter
    close to your heart and keep telling
    her that everything will be alright.
    be the best daddy that you can
    be, she will need it. keep the house
    open and warm, i have a feeling that
    she will come back..
    when she does i strongly suggest group
    therapy. it could help you two sort out
    your problems..

    i know that youre concerned about her,
    but your baby needs to come first right
    now, just hold her and be there for her.
    change her or ask her mother if she could
    help with the baby.

    :hug: i hope that this helps.
    i'm praying for you.
     
  3. Jonny295

    Jonny295 New Member

    just to update thanks taylor and my girlfriend has walked for two hours to her sisters and is okay now. yay relief