Please give me one reason not to do it

[walt]

I'm pretty sure I have schizoid personality disorder, which basically means that I have zero motivation, and extremely suppressed feelings. I experience little or no pleasure from my existence. I guess the reason why I haven't done it yet is because it would be too much work, as lame as that may sound. I don't like people much and desire no intimate relationships. Never had a girlfriend. I guess if I had a job and money I'd have try sex with a higher end prostitute, but as I don't I haven't. It doesn't really bother me. I have no affection for my sister nor, my parents, so please don't tell me how bad that would make them feel. I don't give a fuck. Please don't threaten me with hell either, I don't believe in god, and if there was an afterlife, I'm going to hell anyways, what's a 50 year delay to eternal damnation? Also don't tell me that I might regret it. Regret, or any other feeling is impossible after death. Don't try to scare me with pictures of dead people, I think they're kind of funny actually, the thought of that being me doesn't bother me.

Meh. If I don't kill myself by the time I finish high school I guess I'll join the army and let some terrorist do the job for me. Being blown up or getting shot in the head doesn't sound so bad.

Can you convince me not to do it?

Thanks for your time.

 

[mystereo2099]

Hmmmm convince you not to do it. No I can't actually, seems you've already got all my tactics figured out. Schizoid personality disorder - who put that label on you?

Dude figure out how to download torrents and go look for information on how to talk to girls - sex is quite fun.

 

[Panos]

I can try giving you one reason that it might help, i always believed it but never followed it. You can always try and prove all those ppl that think that you're just a waste for humanity that you are a personality too and you can manage in your own way. And if you don't care about proving, you can always fight even harder so you can detach yourself from their beliefs and live your own and unique way. With the things that make YOU happy not them.
I always wanted to follow it but never could.
Hope that was a spark in your dark thoughts.

 

[levitated-one]

Join the army would be more interesting. Kill or get killed. Don't kill yourself yet, I haven't. I am also like you, so uninterested in life, to me it's so much hard work all for the sake of nothing in the end. I have no motivation too, and I keep delaying the date for my death, till I change my mind.
Life without challenge is not interesting. So look for challenges for yourself, there are always one or more.

 

[Stranger1]

Hey Walt,
Welcome to the forum,
We can't tell you what to do. You have to make that decision yourself. We can be here to offer you support and friendship. I was a mess when I joined the forum, hadn't left my bedroom for fourteen years except for the necesseties.(doctor visits, going in the hospital,eating, bathroom, or smoking on the back porch).
I didn't have a computer back then, So I spent my days lying in bed staring at the ceiling fan going around wishing I were dead. I had no interest or motivation in anything. I was suffering from seveere depression, anxiety, augoraphobia, socialphobia, mood swings, irrational thoughts. Like I said I was a mess. You say you are skyzzo, have you been diagnosed with that? Are you taking meds? You could actually be suffering from seveere depression like I was.
Actually I still do but for the last three years I have been in therapy. She has taught me quite a few coping skills to keep me from killing myself. I forgot to add that one to the list above. I suffer from suicidal ideations also. I have been told my suicidal thoughts will be there the rest of my life because they are so deep rooted. You can learn to live your life around them.
I really hope you change your mind about harming yourself and maybe go to the hospital and tell them you are suicidal and are planning on harming yourself. They will admit you and evaluate you to a true diagnosis. They will probably put you on meds. And they can help set you up with a shrink and therapist on the outside. Please seek the help it does make a difference. Stay Safe!!~Joseph~

 

[seven]

Sometimes I think about it this way:
Death is eventually going to come. Since I don't know what to expect I might as well continue living as death will still be the same no matter when I die. I don't know if this will help you; I hope it does. :hug:

 

[walt]

Getting locked up in a mental hospital and having the only true freedom anyone has, death, taken away is out of the question. I'm pretty sure there isn't any medication for SPD, and I don't see the point of talking to a shrink. I don't see the point of spending time and effort to be someone I'm not just to continue living. Even if I could learn to get something out of life what's the point? After you die, you can't regret your decidison, or feel that you missed out on life, there's nothing, freedom.

BTW, I appreciate that no one said; xoxoxoxo omg theirs always hope! dont give up jesus 3> u!!!xoxoxox or something stupid like that. Other suicide related forums seem to be full of that.

 

[Stranger1]

Hey Walt,
Being in the hospital is nothing like the movies. They are very professional and will listen to you when you are down. The floor techs are very helpfull. You are wrong they do have meds for skyzophrynia. My doctor is telling me he thinks I might be skyzzo because I keep seeing things. He must ask me half a dozen times every visit if I am hearing voices and I keep telling him no. I just see things.
Suicide is not the answer!! You can lead a fairly normal life with help. I am not going to sit here and sugar coat it. Sure you might have to live with it the rest of your life but they can make it more manageable. You have to want the help to get it. If you choose not to then there isn't anything I can do about it. If you want to talk my PM is always available.~Joseph~

 

[walt]

My friend's cousin works as a security guard in a mental hospital. He beats the shit out of the crazies when he's bored.

I don't see why you think I have schizophrenia, SCHIZOID personality disorder is not SCHIZOPHRENIA, has almost nothing to do with it. Look both up on wikipedia.

 

[gentlelady]

I don't know where your friend's cousin works, but most hospitals are not that way. I am not suggesting you go to one, but I do think you should refrain from self diagnosis. Just because you seek help does not mean you have to be hospitalized.The mind is a vast area of unknowns. Someone might be able to tap into the issues you are facing and help you learn to cope with them. The freedom to accept help is your choice. It is up to you how hard you want to try.

 

[alexander01]

well, if thats the way your thinking no one can help you but yourself.

 

[walt]

Yeah I guess.

 

[Rosenrot]

Eh, I'm no doctor, but you perfectly described schizoid, imo. (not to be confused with schizophrenia, 2 different things)

I personally don't know too much about treatment for it. But I'm sure it's worth looking if it brings you down so much.

Best of luck to you.