Genuine question.
All my life, I've never tried to hurt anybody on purpose. I'm not saying I've never hurt anyone -- that's inevitable -- but I never did it on purpose, never calculated or planned.
Recently, my girlfriend broke up with me. It didn't work out. I put so much love in but it was not enough. She's going to find somebody better and I'll still be alone, because nothing I ever do is enough. I'll be reeling, and bitter, and regretful, and all sorts. It's either that I'm too much, or too little, and I never know what the right amount of anything is.
I have no real friends to speak of. No one I can just talk to. Not about any of this, I don't like that and it can put me in a rut, but just about random things. Life. Games. Friend stuff, you know?
I just wish somebody made time for me. I make time for others all the time. I give so much, yet I barely get anything back. The only person that cares about me, still, is my ex. But she will move on, as everyone has so far in my life, and she will find somebody better. It's painful.
I know -- don't seek validation from others, validate yourself. I've tried so hard, but I just can't do it. I've read a million philosophical rambles, I've tried to be zen, I've tried to be stoic. None of it works, for long anyway. I love to help others, but sometimes I just wish I got at least some of the attention back. I don't think that I'm asking for too much.
I'm tired of this game. I don't believe that the universe has something against me -- but I can't take it, all the same. This is the most miserable summer of my life, where everything I had, everything I thought I knew about myself, has been crushed.
Please, someone help me. I'm at the end of my rope. I cannot carry things on like this. I've been through a lot in my life. I've tried to help. I've tried to be good. Every time I've gotten back up and said, let's go for round two. But I can't take it anymore, I am genuinely drained.
All my life, I've never tried to hurt anybody on purpose. I'm not saying I've never hurt anyone -- that's inevitable -- but I never did it on purpose, never calculated or planned.
Recently, my girlfriend broke up with me. It didn't work out. I put so much love in but it was not enough. She's going to find somebody better and I'll still be alone, because nothing I ever do is enough. I'll be reeling, and bitter, and regretful, and all sorts. It's either that I'm too much, or too little, and I never know what the right amount of anything is.
I have no real friends to speak of. No one I can just talk to. Not about any of this, I don't like that and it can put me in a rut, but just about random things. Life. Games. Friend stuff, you know?
I just wish somebody made time for me. I make time for others all the time. I give so much, yet I barely get anything back. The only person that cares about me, still, is my ex. But she will move on, as everyone has so far in my life, and she will find somebody better. It's painful.
I know -- don't seek validation from others, validate yourself. I've tried so hard, but I just can't do it. I've read a million philosophical rambles, I've tried to be zen, I've tried to be stoic. None of it works, for long anyway. I love to help others, but sometimes I just wish I got at least some of the attention back. I don't think that I'm asking for too much.
I'm tired of this game. I don't believe that the universe has something against me -- but I can't take it, all the same. This is the most miserable summer of my life, where everything I had, everything I thought I knew about myself, has been crushed.
Please, someone help me. I'm at the end of my rope. I cannot carry things on like this. I've been through a lot in my life. I've tried to help. I've tried to be good. Every time I've gotten back up and said, let's go for round two. But I can't take it anymore, I am genuinely drained.