Please help, is this my fault?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by anarulesmenow, Dec 18, 2012.

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  1. anarulesmenow

    anarulesmenow Well-Known Member

    So am meant to be going home from uni today(tuesday) and yesterday i rang and messaged both my parents phones as my dad was meant to be picking me up-no answer but they aren't good with phones. So i went to my friends house for a little get to gether before we all went home for christmas. About half nine i rang my mum seeing if she knew when my dad would be picking me up.

    Turns out, he got drunk in the morning (he has a problem but we don't know how to help, we have tried) and hit his head and went to the hospital about noon. He was home when i rang and only had a concussion but was asleep. i only had £1.49 in my bank account as i was thinking i was going home. my mum told me what had happened and said she wasn't sure if i could be picked up tomorrow etc so i asked to borrow some money until i got home and i'd pay her back with my christmas money. Then she started having a go saying 'So we have two drunks in the family then, you shouldn't have spent all your money'.

    Yes i am the first to admit i drink too much but i am currently controlling it, also it isn't just alcohol. My parents give me £35 a week and could give a lot more (they earn a lot) and my friends are all on £60+ a week. Also, a lot of friends have been leaving in the past week and there have been many going away parties and we also had a big christmas dinner, and all this costs money, it's the one week where i have needed to spend money. So now i'm stuck here with no money and food and im being blamed for my dad's fall. i know my mum is upset and i hope that her and dad are ok but i don't want this blame on my shoulders and i don't know how to survive without food.
  2. anarulesmenow

    anarulesmenow Well-Known Member

    and why the hell didn't she call and tell me he had been to hospital? why leave it? who does that?!
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    It feels so awful to be left out as you were and for your mom to place that stuff on you...but do realize she is under tremendous pressure herself...hope you are able to go home and please do not take that as something you did wrong...sounds like under other circumstances that would not have been a problem
  4. VikKalmbach

    VikKalmbach Active Member

    This is not your fault, you have a lot of responsibilities plus you had to make the phone call to find out what was happening. It isn't a fun feeling to feel like your out of the way, or a bother or anything like that but that isn't on you. I can tell by the way you talk you are bright and introspective, these are gifts. Thank whoever you thank everyday that you have them, and you will move on and forwards from here as a key piece of your family dynamic, seeing as tho your father seems like he needs support from you as well,
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    This was most definitely not your fault. Everyone is responsible for their OWN actions. Always remember that, also how are things going now? :hug:
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