Please help me cope

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by italwaysrains, Jul 24, 2007.

  1. italwaysrains

    italwaysrains Member

    I have been working really hard the last few months to help our nephew from my husbands side and his wife become a family that can take care of itself. Well things have happened, he beat her up and they both turned to drugs and alcohol. My nephew just turned 20 and his wife is 23 and they have a 9 month old son. For months the only family members that seemed to have cared about these two and have tried to help them are me and my husband. I fought long and hard to keep my nephew out of prison for beating up his wife (the wife wanted him out of prison as well), and I fought long and hard with the wife to face her addictions. For months I have fought this. Thier baby is in the custody of Health and Welfare because of abuse and they have been gracious enough to allow my husband and I to visit with him and are going to support us in getting a guardianship for the baby. I still keep hope that his parents will pull it together for themselves and their baby. Well to make a long story short my nephew was sent to a half way house that teaches young men how to live life in the real world and his wife tried to kill herself with drugs and alcohol so she was sent to a mental hospital. They have both kept me notified of how things are going for them and I stay active in encouraging them. My nephew is on probation and just recently was violated. I try to keep all the family on both sides involved in what is happening with these two and the baby. The whole time I was fighting in the last couple of months no one from either family has tried to help. I have begged them to be part of the support system and get nothing. Now that they nephew has violated his probation and been arrested and is going to go to prison the family is treating me like I haven't done enough and it's my fault that he is going to prison. It makes me so damn angry that they are acting like this because where were they when the police showed up on my doorstep in the middle of the night with a screaming baby telling me that the babies father was being arrested and his mother was at the hospital because she was beat up. Where were they when I discovered really bad bruising on this five month old baby and Child protection was invovled. Where were they when I was researching options and pleading with the prosecutor to not send this young man to prison but to get him help instead, where are the letters I asked them to write to the prosecutor to help her understand why this young man would benefit from this place, where were they when the babies mom started drinking and doing drugs and tried to kill herself and it was me she called, where were they when both of these kids had no one to turn to and they turned to me. Where have they been when I have been trying to keep them both going and helping them as much as I can as well as taking care of thier baby part time. Now that she is committed and he is on his way to prison they have the gall to call and act like I haven't done enough and I'm not telling them everything and maybe there is more that can be done. I can't believe the things I do for the sake of family and yet time and time again my husbands side of the family acts like I am dirt. I am so tired of helping them and being treated like crap. It sure is funny that our nephew turns to my husband and I knowing full well we expect him to take responsibility for his actions then those who would try to get him out of the trouble. WHERE ARE THEY WHEN THOSE KIDS REALLY NEED THEM!!!!!!! Who is the one that has bent over backwards and nearly gone crazy herself trying to help them both ME!!!!!