I am a 24/7 caregiver for my mom, who is suffering from eyesight probs and beginning dementia. I have a husband who is doing the best he can but I feel like he deserves better and should leave me. I have suffered depression & anxiety all my life. I am overwhelmed and suicidal right now. This is all my life is without a break. The only respite I have is sleep, and even then I worry. I wake up full of panic and dread and cry a lot. We are so far in debt that even with my mom's social security, we still can't pay all of our bills. If she's placed somewhere or passes away, not only do I have the extreme and enormous grief but we're effectively homeless immediately. So I am just stuck. My family can't or won't do much to help. My in-laws hate my guts. I am trapped into a declining situation that has nowhere to go except to get worse. My stress level is far beyond any resources or coping. I've been tempted to check myself into a hospital for exhaustion but I can't, because #1 we can't afford it, and #2 that leaves nobody to watch my mom constantly as she needs and the stress on her would cause a decline in her situation. Death sounds like an escape.