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Please help me understand this

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Bigcheese78, Oct 12, 2013.

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  1. Bigcheese78

    Bigcheese78 New Member

    Look I'm not sad, depressed, upset or angry I just want to die. Let me explain, I no longer see meaning in life in every sense, whether it be morality, spirituality, success or anything. If you gave me everything I ever wanted, I would not want it because I do not know the first thing about being happy. Happiness is more foreign than cligon to me. I have never been in a real relationship to be honest, am not a Virgin but damn the fakeness of it all it took me to get me there. In fact some people would describe me as a smart, happy go lucky guy but I do not wish for love, life, sex, drugs, alcohol or etc. The things I see have become hollow, buildings, family, friends, potential lovers. I long for emptiness, for absolute nothingness. I know it sounds morbid but to me it's romantic, the hell is wrong with me?
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    If you are looking for a diagnosis then seeing a professional would help you know exactly what you are dealing with could be many things hun why you feel this way and unless you see someone who is able to truly diagnose you we would just be guessing Hope you are able to talk to your doctor and perhaps get some answers
  3. the black raven

    the black raven Well-Known Member

    I think you are depressed. Some depressed people doesn't even feel they're depressed. Just feeling empty, hollow, like you described above, wanting to die for no apparent reason. Lost interest in anything, even the thing you used to want. I'm currently in the same condition, but the source of my problem is clear, what made me depressed like this. It's hard to tell what caused you to become like this, because I don't know what caused you this.

    total eclipse is right, it is better to be diagnosed. We're just normal people, not a professional, and we won't be able to accurately define what problem you have right now. Please go seek help to a professional.

    Take Care.
  4. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    Denial of depression yet longing for emptiness and nothingness suggests that it is there, you just seem unwilling to accept that you are. Wanting to die is a fairly common concept (considering the number of people who have come through this forum alone over the months and years), but spinning that on it's head, life isn't easy, it isn't fair, but it's something we can do more to cherish because the majority of us either depressed or not, have the knowledge that we will die one day. Why not make the best of the situations that present themselves to you rather than "I want to die"? There is often a reason for this line to come out, can I ask what yours might be?
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