I'm at work typing this, I managed to drag myself to work after such a terrible night. Here's the story. About a week ago I was assaulted, this is kind of irrelavant but Rachael was there the whole time. She made me feel safe and phoned an ambulance and told me everything was going to be alright. Since the assault I have been scared to leave the house even to go to the shop, but when I was with Rachael it didn't matter. I wouldn't have a problem leaving the house. Rachael, was my girlfriend for about 1 year and 3 months. Recently she decided to go to my friends caravan without me as I couldn't be bothered. That's where it got wierd, I phoned her asking her to come back but she said no she will later. Anyways I ran from my house down to the caravan and begged her to come back home but she didn't after crying infront of my 2 best friends and Rachael I finally left them. Then the next day Rachael came to talk to me, I found out that my supposed to be "Best friend" had tried touching rachael and she was scared and she told him to stop. Since then we have been okay, she made it up to me and I love her so much I forgave her for not comming home and worrying me so much. Last night she told me she gave my other "Best friend" a hand job in the caravan after I cried my eyes out begging for her to come back. She's the only real girlfriend I've ever had, and now we have split up I have no one. I don't have my friends anymore, I don't have any friends I'm not really close to anybody and I have no one to talk to other than my mother but she doesn't really understand. I'll miss rachael so much, I'll miss her amazing family and I'll miss feeling happy and safe. Now that we've broke up and I have no one, I feel like killing myself. I can't talk to anybody and I have a boring job, I'm not motivated to do anything and I feel ugly, scared and self concious. I feel like a smelly tramp, I feel like if I did things differently everything would be ok. The thing is I love her so much and I let her throw me around because I don't want to be alone. Please guys, talk to me your all I've got. Ask me questions and stuff please.