Please help me

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by RebeccaJ4yne, Apr 7, 2013.

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  1. RebeccaJ4yne

    RebeccaJ4yne New Member

    Over the past few days I've been contemplating suicide.
    I haven't left my home for 3 months because I don't have friends anymore, they all left me. Nobody tries to contact me and I don't understand what I've done to make them not want to speak to me.
    I've got anger issues and because of them I've been kicked out of 5 different schools and no longer have a school to go to.
    The people from the schools I used to be in send me abusive text messages from blocked numbers telling me to kill myself and that I'm fat and I'm ugly.
    I started self harming about 6 months ago and it helped at first but its just made everything worse for me in the long run.
    I hear voices telling me to kill myself and I can't tell my family because I don't trust them.
    I have nobody to speak to, I am completely alone, I figure that if I'm dead, none of me friends will miss me because I don't have any, all of the people who bully me will be happy, my family won't have to put up with me anymore and I won't have to suffer any longer. I know things have to get better and that's why I need help. I need help coping because I can't do this alone anymore. I would rather die than be alone but everybody has given up on me and suicide seems like the only solution right now, I don't want to have to wait for good things to happen, I just want to be happy.
    Please help me.
     
  2. Anonymousnobody

    Anonymousnobody Well-Known Member

    Dear, sweet Rebecca. I am so sorry you are in pain. I wish I could give better advice, but I'm not the best person for that, seeing as I to am considering suicide. However, I do know that your family will miss you terribly. No matter how little connection you have to them, they will miss you. And as for being alone, you have a whole website full of people right here! We are here for you. We care about you. If anything, stay for us.
     
  3. Talia862

    Talia862 Well-Known Member

    Im not in the best place myself right now. But I would say- please give yourself time for your life to get better. Many, MANY people are unhappy when they are in high school or even in college. Things DO get better. Some of my best friends, who are happy and successful, were mercilessly bullied when they were younger, they went through the same stuff you are going through and now their lives are going really well. A lot of people are bullied, and it doesn't mean something's wrong with them or they will be unhappy their whole lives. Even famous celebrities have been bullied. I heard that Brad Pitt was horribly bullied when he was a kid, and so was Stephen King, and look where they are now! Hang in there, and drop me a private message if you want to talk

    IT's going to be ok. It CAN be ok. You WILL get through this. You can do it.
     
  4. ambivalent

    ambivalent Member

    Hello,

    I have recently lost one of my daughters to suicide, and it means a lot to me to be able to help someone who is considering going in the same direction.

    Thank you very much for asking for help. That is a very strong indicator that you are not really "into" giving up on life completely, it's just that there is so much pain swirling about you right now.

    Why do I, and other people here, care about you and your life even if we have not met you?

    It's because deep down inside, we all know that life is precious.

    Even is there are religions/faiths/philosophies that tell us that life as we know it, is just temporary (some even consider the lives we lead as mere illusions), and that we can have a shot at another existence after our current ones are ended (by our own hands or not), still, this life that we are in right now is especial because we, ourselves, make it so.

    Assuming that everyone does get a chance to re-incarnate somehow, it still won't be the same. We only have one crack at this present life we have, and it would be totally cool, if we overcome whatever challenges are blocking our way, won't it?

    I also often think of suicide and have attempted it several times before. Each time I fail at it, I am so relieved after.

    Bottomline is, I don't really want to die. Not for some time, anyway. And not in a way that will surely make the people who care for me so devastated, that they would probably end up wanting to kill themselves too.

    Right now, I find great joy in taking care of my plants and pets, and caring for my family, even if there are admittedly times when they all seem to be existing just to make me miserable. hahaha... see how stupid I get sometimes...

    I'd love for you to go on living.

    Those who make your world narrow with the pain and heartache they cause, do try to forgive them. It is very hard, but we need to be compassionate. On others, and on ourselves.

    If you need to talk longer, I will do my best to keep you going. 1 hour, 1 day, 1 week, 1 month, 1 year more, until such time that you feel happy enough... I will do my best for you.

    Take care.
     
  5. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Sorry to hear you are struggling so much.

    Now is the time to reach out for some professional help to address some of the issues you are facing especially with the voices. They can help you deal with them and the depression and you can learning coping mechanisms. As for the bullies, I myself received some of the same horrendous texts and phone calls when I was at school, I kept the messages and showed the police. The police soon sorted them out, they didn't get arrested but they got a stern talking to and that if the harassment continued then they would be arrested. Never seen people cower and cry so much in my life. I did enjoy witnessing the bullies crying like babies.
     
  6. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    Dear Rebecca

    Im sorry to hear your in so much emotional pain right now hugs to you, the best person to reach out is your parens explain to them how you are feeling and explain to everything you have told us on the forum, if you have print out or email what you said to them. Then if that doesn't work please speak to your main dr/gp about how are you feeling. They will point you in the right direction and hopefully get help for you.
     
  7. salander

    salander Member

    Sorry things are so awful for you. I don't really have any wise words as I'm in a bit of a mess myself but I bet your family would much rather 'put up with you' than not have you there and they probably don't see it as putting up with you anyway. Keep posting here and saying how you feel, it does help x
     
  8. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    If you feel you cannot speak to your parents or doctors their are loads of charities that can offer support and advice to help you do this, I really hope you find a way to reach out
     
  9. RebeccaJ4yne

    RebeccaJ4yne New Member

    Thank you all so much, it means so much to me to know that there are people who do care, it is so reassurring x
     
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