M
Hi people:smile:
I feel so sick, my body and my mind. I don't no wat te do anymore?
Maybe it sounds weird but I am going to tell it:
I think there are cameras in my room, I can't see them, but I think people are watching all day long. I am getting so sick of the thought.
I think that people experimenting on my body, a secret service or something.
I know it sounds weird, but I have this thought a coplle of months now.
My shrink gave me pills, first 1 kind off pill, but I got a reaction on the pills my head and my body was shaking so bad that I had to go to the Hospitol.
I wanted to stop with the pills, but I had to use them, now I got new pills from the doctor. But My body doesn't feel goed with it, i feel realy sick because of the pills.
I don't now what to do anymore. I have this weird thoughts all day long, I can't life with it, it's so hard.
Maybe somewhone knows something that i feel better?
I don't like music and TV because that's so ..... it's going so fast.
Right now I can't move. I am so sick and tired of everything.
Sometimes when I am somewhere on school or something I think people want to posion me.... In my food or something, than I think that's the secret service or something like that,,,,who want to destroy me. Or that I am king of a test person.
Everyone helpt me,,,, my family, the shrink but it doesn't help!
I really want to die sometimes.....I wanted to hang myself ones,,,but it didn't work.
I also used many pills, but nothing happend.
And one time I did a plastic bag over my head in my head, nut I couldn't do it!
I never was depressive, but now I am for 2 years. It's the most terrible thing a human can have! I have a big depression, pills for a big depression. It doesn't stop! I have no friends, not that I need them, or want friends, but still there is emptyniss in my life! I sit the whole day in my room, sleeping and watching sometimes TV. It's no life and my head is bissy the whole day long, it's to much for me.
I am going to ask if they want to place me in a menthal clinic, I can't life in this world, I am going to school, but It's to much for my head, I can ask my parents if I can make home school exam but than I am alway's home sitting in my room.
I also feel sometimes ugly,,,, than I think people look to me and laugh.
No people! This world is not created for me, It's to much for me, my head is so bussy all day long, with thinking talking etc....
And if we have visit, I don't like it not alway's.....it's so much, a lot off people make my think harder and harder.
Euthanasie: Maybe if I am not going to a menthal clinic, I want euthanasia, I am 19 years old......But my head, and my big depression....and all the other things.,.. there is more negative things in my life than possitive things. I can't life like this! So I think I am going to ask my shrink for euthanasia..... I really wonder if there is something after this life! We do everything with our brains,,,,,walking,talking..... but if the brain died, do you think there is a heaven?
It's so hard for me to say to my parents I don't want to life, there so sad because of it, and my brother and sister also. But I can't help it.
I hope there is a way that I don't feel the presure of this economic life anymore, everywhere are people around me,,,,,I life in a city with 170.000 people. there is no space to move. Only my room, and my computer, eating and drinking, and hopefully I can get my diplome, But how I feel now, I don't think that it will happen.this year!
Sorry for my story of my last sad 2 years! But I had to share it with you!
I know for the people who have a depression/or something else terrible, that life is very defficult.
I hope you will not feel, like me! God is not with me, I am not lucky.
Some people have to suffer in this World! sadly enough I am one of them!
Best wishes,
Mar87:cry2:
I feel so sick, my body and my mind. I don't no wat te do anymore?
Maybe it sounds weird but I am going to tell it:
I think there are cameras in my room, I can't see them, but I think people are watching all day long. I am getting so sick of the thought.
I think that people experimenting on my body, a secret service or something.
I know it sounds weird, but I have this thought a coplle of months now.
My shrink gave me pills, first 1 kind off pill, but I got a reaction on the pills my head and my body was shaking so bad that I had to go to the Hospitol.
I wanted to stop with the pills, but I had to use them, now I got new pills from the doctor. But My body doesn't feel goed with it, i feel realy sick because of the pills.
I don't now what to do anymore. I have this weird thoughts all day long, I can't life with it, it's so hard.
Maybe somewhone knows something that i feel better?
I don't like music and TV because that's so ..... it's going so fast.
Right now I can't move. I am so sick and tired of everything.
Sometimes when I am somewhere on school or something I think people want to posion me.... In my food or something, than I think that's the secret service or something like that,,,,who want to destroy me. Or that I am king of a test person.
Everyone helpt me,,,, my family, the shrink but it doesn't help!
I really want to die sometimes.....I wanted to hang myself ones,,,but it didn't work.
I also used many pills, but nothing happend.
And one time I did a plastic bag over my head in my head, nut I couldn't do it!
I never was depressive, but now I am for 2 years. It's the most terrible thing a human can have! I have a big depression, pills for a big depression. It doesn't stop! I have no friends, not that I need them, or want friends, but still there is emptyniss in my life! I sit the whole day in my room, sleeping and watching sometimes TV. It's no life and my head is bissy the whole day long, it's to much for me.
I am going to ask if they want to place me in a menthal clinic, I can't life in this world, I am going to school, but It's to much for my head, I can ask my parents if I can make home school exam but than I am alway's home sitting in my room.
I also feel sometimes ugly,,,, than I think people look to me and laugh.
No people! This world is not created for me, It's to much for me, my head is so bussy all day long, with thinking talking etc....
And if we have visit, I don't like it not alway's.....it's so much, a lot off people make my think harder and harder.
Euthanasie: Maybe if I am not going to a menthal clinic, I want euthanasia, I am 19 years old......But my head, and my big depression....and all the other things.,.. there is more negative things in my life than possitive things. I can't life like this! So I think I am going to ask my shrink for euthanasia..... I really wonder if there is something after this life! We do everything with our brains,,,,,walking,talking..... but if the brain died, do you think there is a heaven?
It's so hard for me to say to my parents I don't want to life, there so sad because of it, and my brother and sister also. But I can't help it.
I hope there is a way that I don't feel the presure of this economic life anymore, everywhere are people around me,,,,,I life in a city with 170.000 people. there is no space to move. Only my room, and my computer, eating and drinking, and hopefully I can get my diplome, But how I feel now, I don't think that it will happen.this year!
Sorry for my story of my last sad 2 years! But I had to share it with you!
I know for the people who have a depression/or something else terrible, that life is very defficult.
I hope you will not feel, like me! God is not with me, I am not lucky.
Some people have to suffer in this World! sadly enough I am one of them!
Best wishes,
Mar87:cry2: