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Please help me

#1
Hey guys,

I need your help. My parents found out I was smoking and I know they are going to confront me about it. I have no idea what to say to them. I am not addicted but I'm young. I'm so stressed and need advice. How can have the courage to be honest. I'm terrified.

Thank you for your help,

Depressed moonlight
 

Sunspots

To Wish Impossible Things
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#2
My mum found out I was smoking when I was 15. To be honest, looking back I have no idea how I thought she wouldn't - she must have been able to smell it on me. She eventually told me she knew and had done for a few months. She was obviously disappointed with me but she didn't scream and shout. She said she can't stop me when I'm out but I was not allowed to smoke in the house/garden.

Years later when my son was 18 I found out he was smoking - I could smell it off of him from a mile away, both cigarettes and weed. Plus he suddenly started going out for a walk at around 10pm every night when he'd previously been allergic to walking ;)
Yeah, I was disappointed but he was an adult and old enough to make his own decisions. What was the point in me being angry? It wouldn't stop him. I just hoped that in time he'd come to the right decision on his own.

You're an adult too. If you want to smoke it's up to you, nobody can stop you. But just bear in mind that addiction sneaks up on you without you even realising. If you're not addicted yet you may want to consider stopping before you are.
 
#3
My mum found out I was smoking when I was 15. To be honest, looking back I have no idea how I thought she wouldn't - she must have been able to smell it on me. She eventually told me she knew and had done for a few months. She was obviously disappointed with me but she didn't scream and shout. She said she can't stop me when I'm out but I was not allowed to smoke in the house/garden.

Years later when my son was 18 I found out he was smoking - I could smell it off of him from a mile away, both cigarettes and weed. Plus he suddenly started going out for a walk at around 10pm every night when he'd previously been allergic to walking ;)
Yeah, I was disappointed but he was an adult and old enough to make his own decisions. What was the point in me being angry? It wouldn't stop him. I just hoped that in time he'd come to the right decision on his own.

You're an adult too. If you want to smoke it's up to you, nobody can stop you. But just bear in mind that addiction sneaks up on you without you even realising. If you're not addicted yet you may want to consider stopping before you are.

Thank you so much for that,

I am not an adult yet and still live with my parents. That's why I am so stressed. I also thought they would never catch me but oh well. Your message reassured me and that's what I need to hear. I am defiently trying to stop. My father is not talking to me and I'm scared. Thank you for your message really helped me.

Have a great day,


depressedmoonlight
 

Livelife

SF Supporter
#4
Why are you stressed, is it just about your parents reaction and them being angry or yelling? There's no point in lying about it but you could tell them you won't do it anymore if you are ready for that....
What actually do you think they are going to do? It sounds like they are going to be disappointed but they will get over it. You were just experimenting with something and that's how we learn sometimes. And it sounds like you are too old to spank or time out or restrict your activities...
My two cents is that there's no real reason to smoke except that it's something "to do"and your friends are probably doing it as well.... We used to think it looked cool, but it really doesn't.
It was one of the hardest things I've ever done...to stop smoking. They put toxic chemicals in the cigarettes so to create the addiction....it's not just the tobacco that causes the cravings.
And it's an expensive habit....you can do more with your money :) here's an idea....put the money aside that you are spending and in a few years you will have saved up thousands;)
You'll be ok...it's an opportunity to be honest with them and that creates trust, believe it or not, for future situations with them........*hugYour dad will talk to you again, I promise.
 
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#5
Why are you stressed, is it just about your parents reaction and them being angry or yelling? There's no point in lying about it but you could tell them you won't do it anymore if you are ready for that....
What actually do you think they are going to do? It sounds like they are going to be disappointed but they will get over it. You were just experimenting with something and that's how we learn sometimes. And it sounds like you are too old to spank or time out or restrict your activities...
My two cents is that there's no real reason to smoke except that it's something "to do"and your friends are probably doing it as well.... We used to think it looked cool, but it really doesn't.
It was one of the hardest things I've ever done...to stop smoking. They put toxic chemicals in the cigarettes so to create the addiction....it's not just the tobacco that causes the cravings.
And it's an expensive habit....you can do more with your money :) here's an idea....put the money aside that you are spending and in a few years you will have saved up thousands;)
You'll be ok...it's an opportunity to be honest with them and that creates trust, believe it or not, for future situations with them........*hugYour dad will talk to you again, I promise.
I think I'm stressed because I've been doing lots of stupid things regarding my depression lately and I feel like this is too much for them. you are right I am scared of them yelling. I defiently wont lie to them and own up to it but that will take a lot of courage? I know I should stop doing it and honestly I just do it socially. I never smoke alone. Thank you so much for your message. If I didn't have this website with such amazing people it would be so much harder. Your advice helped me feel relieved and I thank you for that. Have an amazing day that you deserve.
 

Livelife

SF Supporter
#6
You're welcome and thank you too.
Your words show awareness about your behavior, shows your wisdom.
And yes to courage needed....it is the sign of true maturity to walk through a fear.....And you can do it, you'll be alright.. And your parents will be alright!
 

KM76710

Kangaroo Manager
SF Pro
SF Supporter
#7
Hopefully you are worrying yourself about something that will be easier on you than you think. Smoking is bad because of the health issues, but until you are harming others by what you do things can or at least should be able to be dealt with.
 

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