I want these feelings to go away. I don't really want to die but it seems like the only option. I live 1000km away from my family, I have no friends, my ex-boyfriend commited suicide a few months ago and I found him hanging, uni's going shit and I'm going to fail, I'm fat, I'm unhappy and I'm ugly. My new boyfriend can't cope with me anymore and is out almost all the time because I'm so fucked up. I have no-one to turn to. I have isolated myself from the few friends I did have, I can't turn to my boyfriend, because we're on a break because he can't cope with my depression. If i turn to him I'd never get him back. Suicide seems really to be the only option. I wish I could sort out my life, but I don't know where to start. I want my mum to look after me and make me better. Love, nowhere.