please Help me....

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Smashed__, Nov 16, 2007.

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  1. Smashed__

    Smashed__ Well-Known Member

    My little sister and I got in a bad fight (verbal) and her words cut me really deep. They shouldn't have, but they did. I went in my room and tied the belt around my neck again. :unsure: She came through my room without knocking(hers is the through the next door) and saw me! :eek:hmy: she ratted me out to my mum who marched up the stairs, ofcourse really upset and confused. I was taking it off when my sis came in, and I wasn't quick enough. I took a Hydrocodone I stashed from having my wisdom teeth out last week and together I was calm.

    I told her I wasn't attempting suicide (my sister said "shes strangling herself" I can only imagine my mum breaking inside), which is 110% true. she asked if she should check me into a hospitol- this has got to be the third time she's asked. :sad: I assured her NO, but told her I have done it several times because 'it helps'. she said 'i don't want to have you on anti-depressents again' I said NO. Didn't say anything about the pain meds. I am feeling the rush now and have some shaking but its cold so I can play it off.

    I don't know what to do.

    I'm so scared. I have like 8 pain pills left of 20, and I don't need them anymore. but it helped too. Do I sneak another just in case? would she notice? do I come clean and tell her I need her to lock them up because I used one?

    this was really long, and may not make sense when I'm done but I need the advice. I'm terrified of being commited, but I hurt so bad and am crying right now. :sad: I love my sister but she hurts me so much.
  2. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    :hug: I'm not good at giving advices, but you can PM/MSN me whenever if you want to talk. SHing that way is very dangerous and I hope you'll never do it again. :hug: Please tell your mum about the pain pills, stay safe.
  3. riz

    riz Senior Member

    I would only like to say that putting anything around your neck is terribly dangerous. I know that might sound obvious, but there have been far too many accidental deaths by strangling because of that sudden rush and good feeling that you get going too far. Please stay safe.

    My advice would be to talk to your mom about everything. If you feel like you can't talk to her without judgement, you might want to try seeing a councelor. You should be able to talk to a councelor or social worker through school, or through a community center for free. It's confidential too, in most cases.

    Getting help for yourself is the mature and responsible thing to do. It's a grown-up way to react in a situation like this. If you don't want to be institutionalized, you may want to take the beginning steps by yourself to show everyone that you are in control.

    Stay safe and if you need anything, PM me.

    With love,
  4. Smashed__

    Smashed__ Well-Known Member

    thank you:sad:

    I have been better, and haven't taken any pills, and belt. I think I will try and talk to her about it all. She trys not to judge, but she does..I can see shes so upset and confused its hard for her to grasp, so she asks the worst questions. She and I talked after another breakdown that night, she said she wasn't threatening locking me up but asking If thats what needed. She's been keeping an extra 'eye' on me too. Unfortunetly its not a matter of giving all my belts up, because theres things to use everywhere: ropes, dog leashes, extension cords, shirt sleeves, jewelry, ribbon..anything.

    I'm lucky I haven't any ligature marks, but I do see broken blood vessels (I think?) around my eyes and neck. :dry:

    I do appreciate the advice...
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