good god my ex-gf haunts me. her face flashes through my head every day and every night. jesus christ i love her so much and i can't ever have her again. it's destroyed me completely. it was my fault i kept yelling at her because of this illness. she gave me so many chances, but i finally lost her and she never took me back. everytime i lay down i can still smell her perfume on my pillows, though it's been six months since i've seen her, since the breakup. i saw her the other day holding hands with someone at starbucks - new bf i suppose, and i walked back to my car and threw up. i'm weak and powerless, feeble just typing this out. i want to survive this, i want to get rid of this pain but it just won't go away. if it doesn't i swear i will kill myself...I SWEAR. i need serious help...my goddamn heart...soul is fucking torn. i can't focus, concentrate anymore...i'm fixated on her and my death...please talk to me, i don't know who to talk to. PLEASE FFS PLEASE!!!!