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please help me

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by jadedbuttrue, Mar 19, 2008.

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  1. jadedbuttrue

    jadedbuttrue Member

    good god my ex-gf haunts me. her face flashes through my head every day and every night. jesus christ i love her so much and i can't ever have her again. it's destroyed me completely. it was my fault i kept yelling at her because of this illness. she gave me so many chances, but i finally lost her and she never took me back. everytime i lay down i can still smell her perfume on my pillows, though it's been six months since i've seen her, since the breakup. i saw her the other day holding hands with someone at starbucks - new bf i suppose, and i walked back to my car and threw up. i'm weak and powerless, feeble just typing this out. i want to survive this, i want to get rid of this pain but it just won't go away. if it doesn't i swear i will kill myself...I SWEAR. i need serious help...my goddamn heart...soul is fucking torn. i can't focus, concentrate anymore...i'm fixated on her and my death...please talk to me, i don't know who to talk to.

    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 19, 2008
  2. jadedbuttrue

    jadedbuttrue Member

    please Help Me I Can't Sleep...omfg I Hate This
  3. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    best thing in a storm is to hide out and hold on... dont' do anything rash. just try and slow your breathing down

    once the crisis has passed, would you be willing to look at getting some help (if you already aren't seeing anyone) it can take some time to get over a break up but sounds like this is triggering all kinds of other issues for you,

  4. jadedbuttrue

    jadedbuttrue Member

    dazzle, i can't get help concerning my feelings. it will put my job on the line and many other things. NO ONE KNOWS THE WAY I FEEL. even my ex-gf believes me to be alright.

    it's killing me physically. i use to be an avid bodybuilder, which was my passion, and i've lost everything in the last six months due to my ex-gf. i can't eat anything anymore, nor workout because i have NO ENERGY. i look horrible and i CANNOT get over her. i cannot allow myself to feel this way anymore...i'm losing everything i love due to her.

    i cannot shake this feeling. i always thought suicide was stupid...that it wasn't the answer but i was terribly wrong. i fucking can't live like this anymore, you know? it's no kind of life...
  5. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    your job doesn't have to know... right?
    it is horrible to suffer in silence, but this is fixable... you *can* and will feel better but doesn't sound like you can untangle your feelings by yourself.
    feeling suicidal is like the red light flashing on the dashboard saying "take me in for servicing"... that's all...you heart needs a little servicing right now. go to the mechanic!
    i know what's it's like to be heartbroken, it's really, truly awful and you can't imagine going on. but there is hope...
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