please, help me

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Liena27, Nov 18, 2008.

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  1. Liena27

    Liena27 New Member

    I really dont know what to ask, but I want to end it now and dont know how to end it. I cant bear these feelings anymore, it is tearing me apart, and there is noone to talk to. and I cant end my life as I have a daughter who needs me. but no more further I can continue. well, I guess nothing can help, I dont even know why I am trying to hope for help here. How to get it out...
  2. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Just tell us about it. We're here to listen. We can't make it better, but we can help you do that.
  3. Liena27

    Liena27 New Member

    It is hard...I feel so worthless, so useless for this life, for everyone, just being a burden. Noone should care for me as I am. everything is just too much. I spoiled the best I could, just by being who I am - broken, damaged, and I dont know how to repair myself, I believe that noone can. And so there is no use to continue.. I want to disappear. My daughter is keeping me alive but it hurts being alive and feel. I have pills, and I know that it will be bad if I use them, I know I will make a lot of pain to others, and I dont want that, as I have made pain by already by being. so whats the difference. It will never change, my pain will always torture me. I dont know what to do. I wish to fade... OH, God, how can I help myself....
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello Liena,
    Welcome to the forum! You are more than welcome to come on here and talk about your problems! We are here for support, advice, friendship, and to let people just vent their anger!!
    I know you are having trouble opening up and talking about what is happening with you. Don't be afraid, we are like one big family. We all have our problems. Depression, anxiety suicidal thoughts and more. You have taken the first step to opening up don't stop there! No one here will judge you, we don't know who you are so feel free to open up. If you prefer a one on one then just PM one of us!
    One thing we won't talk about is methods, it is against the rules because this is a prolife forum. Give us a chance to help you. Hell I am walking that fine line between life or death myself( I won't go into why) But I know I have alot of support here!1Take Care!~Joseph~
  5. kenny

    kenny Well-Known Member

    Please try to be strong. if you want to talk, I'm here.

    Welcome to SF, by the way. there are lots of people who understand how you feel right now.
  6. Liena27

    Liena27 New Member

    oh, I dont even know what to tell, as it is full, I am full. Why is it so that people like me are kept here. Why such a torture. I have been used in childhood by my brother, then later raped by a stranger. Have feeling worthless and guilty and depressed my whole life. I guess I just deserve pain and hits. and when something good happens I spoil it by closing up, just trapped inside of me, just hurt and overwhelmed by pain, so other run - that is logical. Why do I live if it hurts so much, why. to hurt me more? For my family I am also a worthless person. I cant do anything with my life. It is damaged, and I feel there is nothing to repair. and I dont have any strenght.
    But thank You for listening... really
  7. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi Liena. Please don't give up hun. I know that some pretty awful things have happened to you in your life, but it doesn't mean that your life is over. You have to look inside yourself and try to find the strength to carry on, for you and for your daughter. :hug:
  8. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello Liena,
    Just want to check on you and see if you are feeling a little better? I am a male and I too was molested when I was like twelve. We had a guy where I lived who would draw you in to watch porno movies and read magazines. Once he saw you were aroused he would take you back to his room and have his way with you. There I just opened up to you. I haven't told anyone about that because I am ashamed I let him have his way with me.
    You can learn to live with it. but it never goes away, at least it doesn't for me. I put it out of mind but everynow and then it sneaks back in to my thoughts.
    Please stay with us and let us give you a shoulder to lean on!! Take care and stay strong. We are here for you!~Joseph~
  9. Oak

    Oak Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Joseph is right Liena. Survivors feel worthless of being alive but that's not true for all. It needs lots of work on ourselves to overcome it but it is possible with the correct help. You sound like at the end of your rope and fighing alone which is not good. Have you seek professional help hun?
    There is no shame in being a surviver to rape and abuse, many of us have been there and understand your pain. You could start by telling us a bit about yourself and of your daughter for example to break the glass.

    be well and stay strong
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