please help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by martinculling, Mar 23, 2010.

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  1. martinculling

    martinculling Member

    please can someone help me tried to end it again this week just ended up with rope burns on my neck which ive been trying to hide. dont know whether to try again tonight thought of overdose and drink then rough seas tonite. coming off duloxetine onto sertraline psychiatrist gave me some lorazepam to take edge off any withdrawal. she knows about my attempt last week just gave me CRISIS NUMBERS HOWS THAT GONNA HELP TALK IS ALL I DO! i need to leave my wife not in love anymore how can i tell her? NO I SOONER DIE THAN FACE IT WHY? but cant do it nowhere to go cant go to my parents they are stuck in the middle of things dont want to die for my kids but i feel im trapped with nowhere to turn maybe losing my job after tommorrow if my boss wont have me back. SCARED FOR THE FUTURE i want to be happy again just cant move on!!!!!!!. never felt so awful as i have done recently cant even top myself without getting that wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!! family therapy this afternoon cant tell mum&dad and wife how i really feel can i??
    dont wanna die but feel like shite trying to hang on!!!
    i have to talk to you guys dont know what else to do!
    hope to hear from someone before its too late
  2. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    i wish i knew what to say. do you join in the chat?
  3. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    martin, hang on man

    why don't you just print this thread and bring it with you to show?

    they really need to know and hiding it is just increasing your stress way more than you need right now

    the doctor gave you the crisis numbers so that you could have someone to talk to at need without having to make an appointment - give them a chance when it gets that bad, ok?
  4. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Yes. You can tell them how you feel. You sound desperate and you sound completely overwhelmed. Let them help you make things manageable and more achievable.

    You don't want to die, you say that twice. So fight for it. Fight to not die.

    I'm glad you told your psych the truth, well done. Now you have to be brave and tell your family.
  5. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I think you should tell your family too.....I can feel you are in so much pain and you don't want to hurt others but what about your hurt?.....
    I understand some of what you feel as I was in a marriage I hated and I was going to kill myself to get away from the pain.....
    but then I thought "what have I got to lose?....why not try leaving the marriage first?"...
    and I did 16 years ago and here I am today...
    I know it's not easy but it's better than dying....
    it's your life you're talking about here and I hope you'll give anything a try before you end it....
    take care......
  6. ballinluig

    ballinluig Well-Known Member

    Martin it is so hard. I couldnt tell my husband or parents how bad I felt. I knew I was getting worse and worse. The day before I OD I was at the Drs and told the nurse and dr that I couldnt go on and all they told me was to come back the next week! After crying and saying I couldnt do that she said well never mind come and see me again next week!!!! Its bloody awful that we cant tell folk what we are thinking.

    I ended up on the Tuesday taking an OD but because I was texting a friend he got the ambulance and police and they found me in a rural part of the glen. Since then Ive found it helps to write things down as I cant tell people face to face how I really feel, so I put all my feelings down in a letter.
    Why not try that, write a letter and hand it in when you go to therapy.
    Take care dx
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