please help me

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by KimKim, Jan 9, 2011.

  1. KimKim

    KimKim Well-Known Member

    this could save my relationship.

    I need to get control over myself.
    I don't want to be rude to my partner everytime i'm down and can't help myself.

    do you have any tips, maybe exercises to train my brain not to treat him so bad?
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 9, 2011
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    maybe get some therapy for you for anger
    maybe get some marriage councilling
    are you on medication at all that might help
  3. duka

    duka Well-Known Member

    I don't know how applicable this is to you (everyone is different), but when I get angry I don't show it or discuss it in any way. I let it boil inside when I'm alone and I think long and hard about why I'm angry. Eventually, I get tired of being angry and become able to let it go. This sometimes takes 20 minutes and sometimes an entire evening.

    The truth is, taking your anger out on someone or something gives you satisfaction, which makes anger seem like less of a bad thing in your head. That means you will be more likely to find reasons to get angry in the future and look for someone to take it out on what that happens. It's usually healthier to stop yourself from doing this kind of behavior, even if you have to lock yourself in your room to do it. Take away all possible outlets, and take care of your anger on your own. Or, if all else fails, force yourself to smile while looking at cute pictures and listening to cute songs. Sometimes distraction is enough.

    But, like I said, everyone is different. I'm a person who can let things go and set them aside without the anger building up over time. If you can't do this, and the frustration builds up inside you like a balloon ready to pop, or if you absolutely cannot overcome your anger without taking it out somehow physically or verbally, then seek a counselor or someone else who's more qualified to help than I am.
  4. KimKim

    KimKim Well-Known Member

    I have been in therapy a while ago because of depression and self-injuring behavior...actually this is why i learned to say things i mean straight away...

    I do consider myself a mean person. but i never realized I run so out of control when I´m sad or angry...
    i understand the circle that duka mentioned...and yeah, it is like that...
    i thought about carrying a little book and write down mean oder tooooo cynical to let them out without pulling down my lover xD
  5. chloe21

    chloe21 Well-Known Member

    hey try to get some help for some there near u ok it does help like me i get anger sometime and me and my boyfriedn help me throught it. but he left me for a month and came back this year to me because he had no where to go so i took him back in because i love him and i am taking care of him now. we got engaged on the 25/1/2011 and but we dont know when the wedding is yet i will let u all know. I HOPE THIS HELP U OUT LOT
  6. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    When my anger takes over I sing the abc's or count things in my head, it usually calms me down after a few times.

    Still havent figured out how to not take it out on my H, hes the only one around that I can yell and scream at in person.
  7. chloe21

    chloe21 Well-Known Member

    go out and yell ur lung out it might but i am not a doctor