Please help me...

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by HopelesslyUseless, Jan 11, 2011.

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  1. HopelesslyUseless

    HopelesslyUseless New Member

    (I am an atheist. I have no disrespect for anyone's faith; You can believe in (or not believe in) whatever you want, but, please, PLEASE...no religious comments.)

    I can't do this any more. I can't go on. I'm tired of being alone, I'm tired of holding it in, I'm tired of hurting, I'm tired of pretending, I'm tired of cutting, I'm done. What kind of way to live is this? Yes, I know, at the tender age of 19, I've accomplished so much. I have no job, no money, no hope, I've let myself and all those around me down.

    Every day is the same; I sleep until 4 or 5 in the afternoon, I wake up, I smoke, I pretend everything's okay, and then I crawl back into bed, ashamed of what I've become. I've completely given up on myself.

    I've seen things that no one, no one deserves to see. My thoughts are eating me alive. Sure, I have plenty of friends and family who love me, and I love in return, but in the end, I'm useless. They'll probably be better off without me.

    I see no benefit to my being alive. If I weren't such a coward, I would have killed myself a long time ago. I can't take it any more...Apparently, I don't deserve to be happy, so maybe, just maybe I should stay here and suffer. I need help. Serious help. But again, I have no money to pay for a therapist. I don't know what to do and I'm completely at the end of my rope.
     
  2. Qube

    Qube Well-Known Member

    Hello ,

    I feel for u and I wish you come out of this problem very soon.

    I can suggest you to please keep in touch with this forum and start talking .
    People are really nice here.

    By the way, you did not mention why you became like this ? What actually mattered u ?

    Only if u dont mind to say.


    Be happy. We all are with u.

    You can PM me or add me at msn and we can talk. I will listen.

    Thanks and take care.
     
  3. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Im so sorry you feel this way, I to have seen many of things that should never be seen, so if you ever want to get it out, I can be an ear for you.

    Welcome to SF, I hope you find what your looking for here. I know for me its been a huge help.
     
  4. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Maybe if you let God back into your life, things wouldn't be so bad? You have to make a serious effort if you want to improve your life.
     
  5. plshelpme

    plshelpme Well-Known Member

    hey!

    you basically just quoted my head
    but really, they wouldn't be better off without you...i have to constantly remind myself of that...
    put yourself in their shoes at and after your funeral...
    idk how close you are to some of the ppl in your life, but i can guarantee that they will never be the same, and they will suffer for a long time...

    hang in there...

    and take Qube's advice and talk to SF...
    good crew of ppl here, many of us in your exact shoes, including myself...
     
  6. flowingriver

    flowingriver Well-Known Member

    You are only 19. Make new pleasant memories.
     
  7. HopelesslyUseless

    HopelesslyUseless New Member

    My mom passed away when I was 14. I pretty much watched her wither away...I didn't even get to say goodbye to her...It's like...I don't even know who I am anymore. One second, I'll be laughing and joking and then the next, I'll feel a wave of overwhelming dread and loneliness come over me. I feel so cold. I'm just tired of feeling like this.
     
  8. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Wow Hopeless, Im so sorry to hear that. It must have been really hard on you, is your dad around?

    Can you try and not let your mothers memories bring you down, I know she wouldnt want you to feel like this and shes probably wanting to come down and beat your butt. Do you see signs from her, Im not a religious person but I do see signs from my "meemaw" and that makes me feel like I should go on.

    Continue to come here, I know alot of people here have lost loved ones and can give you some advice on how to move torwards moving on with yourself.

    Hope today has been a better day for you.
     
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