I feel like i'm in the process and near the edge of losing the plot. I'll explain my story: I have a sex/porn/masturbation addiction. At first it was fine but over the years, it has taken over my life. I would spend hours surfing online for this stuff and it would cut into other parts of my life. As of july last year, I started to develop thoughts and feelings about touching members of the opposite sex. It's mainly brushing or touching there hands but I feel like I will do this if i'm not of strong mind. This has led me to be scared to go out because off course I don't want to do anything horrible. I don't want to be this animal, this horrible person. I have seen a professional for a initial assesment and they think I have some sort of OCD. But I feel it's more than that. I have been doing so much research on this sort of thing I know it's more of a chemical imbalance. My family have a history of mental illness, so it's very likely that i have it as well because of all this I am going through. I've been put on the waiting list but the list is long and I don't think I will be seen soon enough. I'm just very scared and upset. It hurts like hell to be this way. On top of that, I have become suicidal. If I ever mess up, I will seriously consider killing myself. I have a girlfriend, who is the greatest thing in my life. I don't want to lose my battle. I've thought about handing myself in to a mental institute or something. I just want to get better sooner rather than later. Any advice would be appreciated greatly.