Please help me

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by lelantgirl, Jun 11, 2012.

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  1. lelantgirl

    lelantgirl Well-Known Member

    Please help me i cant take anymore, i cant live, i cant slip away unless i take my life and people say its wrong, a sin, selfish, but is it?
    I have everything ready to do it with.
    I need to be gone, the pain and heartache and everything over the years has reached its climax.
    I'm ready.
    Please forgive me.
  2. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    Sorry that you are in so much pain right now there anyone that you can call ?
    Do you have a therapist or anything
    please keep holding on i know how hard it is
    keep talking
  3. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    You can go if you want to, but there is a reason you joined SF... use it and let us keep you company through the times where there is no one else.
    Rain, sunshine, night and day, you are always most welcomed to call on me 24 hours a day.
  4. Monoka

    Monoka Well-Known Member

    In general people who say it is selfish have never felt the way you are right now. by the sounds of it you have endured for a long time- what has made you decide its time to go?

    Take care, thinking of you
  5. lelantgirl

    lelantgirl Well-Known Member

    Lost my mother a months ago, from cancer. She has been the only one who has loved and encouraged, understood and been there for me.
    I have had lots of trauma's in life and breakdowns, very poor health and she's the only one who hasn't given up on me.
    I have noone now.
    I just need to be with her, life was still so tough with her in it, but now its nothing but deep, dark and dense torment and pain.
    We often spoke about suicide and would she understand if I had to do it and she said yes, if she knew I could take nomore and life was too much.
    I know she would understand, and know she'd want me to be with her as we also discussed this, trouble is noone else believes it and just says its a sin and I will live in darkness.
    THAT is stopping me right now, I want to do it to be with her and other loved ones, not be ineternal blackness, and I dont know what to believe.
    I am right on the edge and have alot of prescribed pain relief here and other drugs for various illnesses I have, so wouldn't be difficult to do and achieve.
    I need to be with her so badly.
    Thanks for replying.
  6. lelantgirl

    lelantgirl Well-Known Member

    Not really no, have had therapists in past who ahve screwed me up evenmore. Mum was the only person to help me in life, and now she's gone I have nothing or noone.
  7. lelantgirl

    lelantgirl Well-Known Member

    Thankyou Leif, still here dont know why, its the uncertainty of where I shall end up as people say suicide people dont go on to good place but bad, I just want to be with my mother the only person who has ever loved and supported me, but if its true if you take your life you live in darkness, then be worse than living like this.
    I joined here to get help, but seem to be going round in circles.
  8. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    I am qualified to address your issue because I am in the same shoes as you are. I lost in reverse though... it was my son. He was my everything and he was a part of me. My life went empty and blank when he left and passed away. I have had to fight hard to go on, but go on I will because he would not want me to die because of him. He was a very caring person and he would want me to be strong. He died by suicide.

    Your mom would not want you to die because of HER. Live life to honor her, every single day... and in everything you do. This is what I do.
  9. Monoka

    Monoka Well-Known Member

    you will never please everyone and dont feel pressured into or out of anything by people who do not understand what you are going through. i cant imagine how hard you life must be and the fact that you get up each morning and carry on is a real act of courage and strength. but no one has eternal strength to carry on, just be sure that you make your choices for the right reasons.

    If you can, please try and find someone else to talk to- no one can replace you mother but it sounds like discussing personal things with her has helped you come this far.

    I'm so sorry you are going through this and life has been so unfair on you, but please stay with us

    take care
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