Hi i just joined this forum, i'm a 22 year old guy and i need help. Basically i will have known this girl on the internet for 10 years in Febuary, i am in love with this girl to the point of being physically sick, this is the girl who said she loved me, wanted to marry me, and have my children someday. This morning i woke up and waited for her phone call, when i was waiting i got bored and decided to type her name into a search engine just to find her performance pics(shes an actor and singer), when i came across an internet blog of a man she had supposedly been with for 3 years and had moved in with her but has now left her saying what a terrible person she has been, using "men" as a stepping stone to find her true love and making them feel bad. After 10 years i'm supposed to go visit her in April. This has been a terrible blow to me today and i am crippled both mentally and physically, i am alone right now and feel very suicidal, i've been crying constantly for 6 hours now and so i can't build up the courage or the strength to call a helpline. This girl has left me behind before when i needed her the most, i ended up in a mental hospital because of depression and she just left me to it. I'm trying to refuse what i've read about her and i still love her and want her in my life but its going to kill me. Someone please help.