I've had suicidal feelings since I was around 8, I'm 18 and last year attempted suicide. My life isn't getting better. I need help, I keep trying to get it but I can't seem to keep in touch. My high school councillor completely stopped talking to me after high school.. I mean I know it's not her job anymore but I thought she cared.. In an attempt to make my life better I deleted every contact on my phone, I'm changing my number and all my friends. I don't want to be around people who only care about cocaine or pot anymore. I'm indifferent to everyone and I cry about it. I cry, not because I can't keep relationships but because I have no feelings for anyone. I know I should but I don't. I hurt everyone I come in contact with. I sleep so much it's not like I have the time to care but I do, I don't want to die but at the same time I do.