Please help - Talking to loved ones

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by kittenette, Apr 21, 2012.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. kittenette

    kittenette Well-Known Member

    I've been feeling suicidal on and off for about 3 years, I've attepted to attempt suicidemany times during this time but it was never planned and I was always a coward and backed out before it got too serious or more importantly anyone found out about it. I'm not depressed and I've never sought professional help for the chance of my parents, friends and other family finding out and also I'm training to be a health professional so I figured it would probably mess with that. However I'm currently planning and propping for my suicide in november and I want to start talking to people, explaining and saying my goodbyes

    So my actual question is how can I talk to my boyfriend or a close friend in confidence about suiciicide? I've never tryed and I donr know where to start!

    Please any advice thanks :)

    Ps typed this on my phone so sorry if some of its not very readable
     
  2. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    I do not think you start talking about suicide, you start a dialogue about how each of you think and feel and tell that you are feeling very down.
    If you are planning for November then you have time to work at this.
     
  3. kittenette

    kittenette Well-Known Member

    Nothings 'getting me down' that's the problem I'm not depressed just suicidal, I don't want to live but how do I tell someone I love that?without them thinking its somehow their fault or something?
     
  4. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Being in training in the health profession you need to spot signs of people falling and you are one.You maybe do need to seek some help as planning your death you could be planning how to get better think that would be better solution youve done first already come here and basically said help keep that going
     
  5. kittenette

    kittenette Well-Known Member

    But how? Everyone keeps saying talk to people but noone says how to I tryed going to my gp but I can't talk to her she was too impatient doctors just want you to spit it out so they can go on to the next one. I'm not depressed I know I have syptoms of it but there just side effects of me wanting to be dead not the other way round.

    I can't even imagine how I'd feel if a friend or family member died I know I shoould feel sad but I just feel empty (that was a coping mech in the past) but now I just feel prodeath if they died it would be fine because at least they wouldn't be sad when I died.

    And as for my job I never enjoyed the mental health side, I prefer physical, mental health is so subjectional I don't understand it.
     
  6. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Make a double appoint with your doc and if you not happy with that doc find a new one.Seeking some sort of support will be the best thing you can do as leave this it does get worse and harder to get through.Youve reached out here which is good and keep that up but you still need support to get through this tough time and trying to do it on your own will be tough.You can still have a normal life just you ll have somebody to unleash things that build up.
     
  7. kittenette

    kittenette Well-Known Member

    How? I can't express myself, noone is answering my questions, I don't need to be told to reach out again, i tryed to reach out but I can't I need to know how I can do this? How did you? Its not a normal thing to talk about its not like saying my arm hurts can I have some pain killers its I want to die, I should be dead, I have no ambitions no will or motivation to live if I didn't have a family I'd probably be dead already because I would eat or drink or go out but prentending to be fine keeps me alive.
     
  8. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    I understand it took me years to open up still find somethings difficult you just have to start with doc hopefully they will recomend a good counciller now thats where it gets hard but it all donsnt come out in first few sessions over time you ease into letting things out you yourself have to build your own comfort zone to be able to talk.It does take time and trust
     
  9. kittenette

    kittenette Well-Known Member

    But I don't know what to say to the doc to get help, I find it difficult to talk to people about my emotions out loud I just can't speak, and I'm so used to lieing to cover up how I'm feeling that when they ask me questions my first reaction is to lie and say that I'm fine which is really contradictory and they just look at me like I'm a waste of time so I leave and I'm too embarresed to go back because it will just happen again
     
  10. ts4

    ts4 New Member

    e-mail your g.p hpow you feel and try expressing it that way. it may help you.
     
  11. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    another way write it all down and take that with you i had to do this to explain my abuse as i couldnt talk about it
     
  12. kittenette

    kittenette Well-Known Member

    Thanks for thw support everyone, I will try and qriyte it all out and I'll try a new doctor I know they can't all be bad, I'm terrified of the outcome of doing this I really would rather be dead. But I should at least try if I'm only going to die anywya it doesn't matter right?
     
  13. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    I wish you all the best and its great you are willing to try and dont forget we always here for support too good luck
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.