Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Jehuty, Jun 3, 2009.
I keep taking junk and cut, I will do it soon.
Alot of people care about you please don't do anything now...help is here.
Talk to us! You know there are many of us that are here for you!! :hug:
You are asking for help and there are two of us here for you...can you tell us how we can help you tonight?
Please let that pain out instead of keeping inside...support is here.
Please take care. (your words to me some days ago)
What's going on? I hope you keep talking here.
You seem like a really nice person. Please talk to your friends here, or someone, and don't hurt yourself. You're needed, and people care about you.
I can't do it anymore. :cry:
My life is broken. :cry:
I know what I did wrong last attempt I won't make that same mistake twice. :cry:
Talk to us Jehuty!! :hug: You are crying out for help... talk to us!!
I dont know where to start. :cry:
What is wrong or good, it's my life I can end it whenever I want. :cry:
I so strongly believe that eveything gets better after suicide, I just can't help it. :cry:
I grew up being suicidal, I don't know any better. :cry:
It always was my way out if things got to hard and now they are too hard. :cry:
Can't work without crying, my parents think I'm an idiot and they are right. :cry:
I shouldn't be here anymore, found enough ways to commit suicide and there so easy, once you do it there is no way back. :cry:
Jehuty, I grew up suicidal as well, from as early as I can recall clearly. I know what you're talking about, it's always "the way out" for me. But you're not an idiot for crying when you're upset and overwhelmed, although we all feel it when it happens to us. And you should be here. The one time I've talked to you, you showed a marvelous personality, sense of humour, and maturity. You're a nice person. Nicer than I am, that's for sure! What is wrong? Something set this off again, something always does with people like us. It doesn't come out of nowhere. What was it this time, and what can be done to fix it?
Let's of reaons. :cry:
Parents who never support me. :cry:
Lost my college. :cry:
Nightmares that only get worse. ( wont go into details ) :cry:
A relationship that failed. :cry:
Lots of things that happend on my past. :cry:
It's just too much, I can't take it anymore, it is killing my from inside. :cry:
Healing from the past, and from betrayals is the hardest. Its hard to let go of the pain and memories. I sympathize about the nightmares, I have them every night and they wake me up, so I don't get good sleep. Not getting good sleep helps perpetuate the depression, anxiety and stress. Plus it just helps bring back the memories.
If you're going through a lot right now, perhaps its not the time for college. You don't have to do it right now. You need to take care of yourself. When you get yourself feeling better and more stable, then you might try taking a couple of classes, rather than a full course. Baby-steps.
I'm sorry your parents aren't supportive. I understand that situation, and I'm sure others do here, as well. Are there other people you can talk to? I've seen others here say you can talk to them. Sometimes you can't count on a single personn (or persons) to be everything you need - so you have to spread it out a bit. Is it financial help that you need? That's difficult when you're depressed. But there are programs to help with that, too. Maybe reach out to a councilor or someone?
Losing relationships sucks. I've lost so many. It makes you feel like a failure and unlovable. But then I realize that the jerks I fell in love with were just that - jerks. Its not me, except that I made a bad decision. So, I learn to make better decisions. Perhaps this person wasn't for you. Perhaps they hurt you, which makes them bad - not you. Perhaps it was just growing in different directions - change. It takes a long time to recover from a crappy relationship, and from any losses. Vent it out, cry, and give yourself time. It will get better, I swear!
It won't get better, so far it only made things worse, lots worser. :cry:
My body hurts like hell, cutting, low sleep and trying to OD. :cry:
I'm just a mess, I deserve to be killed or die by suicide. :cry:
That's all I'm good for. :cry:
I don't believe that for one moment - that its all you're good for. I do beleive you feel that way, however. I've felt that way myself, that's why I came here.
If you're ODing, please call someone. Okay? Stop taking the pills right now, and call someone. You need help. I happen to like you and don't want to lose you, and selfishly I'll feel pretty damned shitty if you die and nothing I said even helped a bit. I want to help you. I think you're a sensitive, good person. I saw that myself when I spoke to you. Now I've been wrong before, but I'm pretty sure I'm not wrong about this one - so please get help. Alright?
I just can't take it anymore. :cry:
It's not that I don't try but I can't fight it anymore. :cry:
My dreams are telling me to do it. :cry:
My own fucking mind is telling me to do it. :cry:
If you have no control over anything else in your entire existance, Jehuty, you do have control over your actions. You may not control how you feel - you may not control how you think - you may not control all the shittiness going on around you - but you can control how you react to it. You're venting! This is good. You're letting it out, you're crying - this is all very good! Its not good if you're taking pills. That part is what scares me - not the cutting, not the emotions, not the venting - I'm scared because you said you're ODing, and you can control that. I don't want to see a nice person like you wasted because of crap from the outside or crap that other people pulled. I'm sure I'm not the only one here who feels that way. Please get help with the OD. Okay?
Everytime when I have a nightmare and when I die in it the whole nightmare becames so beautifull, like it's telling me everything will get so much better after dead. :cry:
This happend for many years, I just want this nightmare called "life" to stop. :cry:
Suicide seems the best option to do so, it is what I believe in. :cry:
I'm not going to say things aren't because frankly I don't know, and I'm not going to lie to you and give you platitudes and insult your intelligence that way. I have no idea what's on the other side. I do, however, know about dreams and psychology. And I'm virtually positive that you're taking your dreams literally, and dreams are rarely - if ever - literal. Dreams of death denote change. Your dreams are telling you it's time for you to die to your old way of being (lifestyle, or people, or feelings, or beliefs, or past) and to allow change to happen so that you can experience that rebirth that you see when your dream changes. Read Carl Jung for information about dreams and symbolism. Or try reading Nietzsche! He has some really wonderful, down to earth philosophy.
I understand you believe in suicide. I do too. But not unless you've exhausted all of your options, and I know I haven't exhausted all of mine yet - have you exhausted all of yours?
hi jehuty .. iv only been on this site a few days and we havent spoken really but .. u were one of the first ppl to offer me a friends request and even though i didnt stay long u welcomed me in the chat lobby .. so thanku v much !.. it shows alot .. what a great caring person u are and this world needs more ppl like you to stick around and help out ppl in like me !
is there anyone where u are that u can tell how ur feeling right this min?
i hope ur ok .. pm if u like .. please stay safe x