Please help

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MRGSO, Apr 26, 2010.

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  1. MRGSO

    MRGSO Active Member

    Today 2 of my best friends basically told me I was an angsty pain in the ass and they were sick of my whining... My last bff is moving halfway accross the country. I have noone and I want to die....
  2. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    dont die more about will here if you want to ok? :hug:
  3. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

  4. MRGSO

    MRGSO Active Member

    My parents never stop fighting but they won't get divorced because it's "against their religion", my dad still doesn't have a job almost 2years later, we don't get unemployment anymore and have been evicted, my whole family of 6 treats me like crap. Nothing is ever good enough...I'm always being made fun of or put down. one of our cars transmission blew and will cost $2000 to fix, the other has a reject sticker and will cost $400 to fix. My grandfather is dying and I can't say goodbye because he lives in FL and I live in MA and we can't afford the trip. Dad is slowly getting abusive. My BF and her family are moving to North Carolina....they were my only support....they think it will fix their marriage problems but its really just tearing the family appart...they were my real family...all I had and now they're gone. I'm not getting into any college I want because my grades suck. I'll never be able to accomplish my dream of professional horn player since there are already so many kids waaay ahead of me and I can't afford lessons, one of my other BFs parents are getting divorced and she's moving away....not that it matters since we're not talking right now. She doesn't give a shit how I feel...some friend. And my 3rd best friend....the one that was supposed to be my best friend ever....we used to spend so much time together and have so much fun. I'm in love with her...not in a lesbian type way but how a mother would love their child. I have done EVERYTHING to try and make her happy but nomatter what she just finds some reason to yell at me. She treats me like a nuisance. And then she pretends she cares. -__- like I said earlier...they all just agreed that I'm a whiny pain in the butt and they're sick of hearing me. (even though when they found out I had been cutting they all told me they WANTED me to talk and that they would ALWAYS be there to listen because they CARED. I"m currently failing all my classes because every time I try to do things I just end up crying.
    Last night was the second time in my life that I felt I had nothing to live for and fear was the only thing stopping me from suicide.....
  5. bono

    bono Well-Known Member

    It takes more than just wanting to kill yourself to commit suicide. So your only wasting you time and energy thinking about it. Your in despirit need of some positive attention. You would benefit from getting a dog. They luv you unconditionally. Or by joining a club. Someplace to just relax and hang out with other people. Don't feel the need to be the center of attention, just sit back and enjoy the fact that you have been accepted by a group of people. Your young with a full life ahead of you. Go out and hug someone you will better.
  6. MRGSO

    MRGSO Active Member

    I'm already in quite a few clubs they only add stress. we're in a small school where everyone knows each other so there is noone new that cares. They all think im perfect. And now my friends ditched me too. =/ I wish more than anything we could get a dog. My parents won't let me though nor can we afford it. (can't even afford to keep the house/feed OURSELVES)
    You are right about suicide takes a lot more than just wanting to die. I would know...I've tried at least 50 times in the past.....still here. Damn that piece of human instinct that forces you to live. xP
    I'm in a much better mood right now than I was the past couple of weeks though. =) (as you can probably tell by the joking tone suggested by the xP)
  7. bono

    bono Well-Known Member

    Could be you need to learn to manage stress better. People who don't having coping mechanisms in place will suffer regardless of the life's circurmstances. If so you should google up some ways to realx and de-stress.

    Nobody thinks anyone else is prefect. They might feel your to uptight, high-strung or standoffish. It think your expectations for yourself and and your life should be are set to high, probably skewed by the media. Stop worrying about the future, life will take care of itself. Its all about the journey not the destination :hugs: gl + hf
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